Chapter 9

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Despite Nathaniel's obsessive desire for my wife, he is a very skilled knight. It's the reason why the Marquess gave him the important position of captain of Estelle's personal guards. He's skilled enough that he was able to escape the tightly secured Blanchard Castle so easily. It's been three days since we started the manhunt yet we still haven't caught him. 

I'm angry at myself for allowing that bastard to live. I should have killed him that night! It's frustrating but I have to stop the search. That man and his accomplice, Clement, have probably left the Blanchard territory by now. 

"Let's return to the castle," I say to my men as I mount my horse.

"What action would you like to take, sire?" Stefano, my trusted assistant, asks me.

"Send word to the capital: two knights who've committed crimes against the Carvelho Ducal Family are on the run. Kill them upon sight."

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Estelle feels uneasy waiting around while Nikolaidis is chasing after the escaped prisoner. She's worried something bad might happen to the Duke. During the night of the incident, Nathaniel showed how violent he could be. I genuinely hope Nikolaidis will be okay.

She knew it was pointless to worry and do nothing while her husband is away so Estelle continued her lessons and the preparations for her upcoming birthday party. Since the Duke already made the initial arrangements, all she needed to do were to get her measurements taken, taste test the food, and sign papers for the materials getting delivered to the castle.

She's been sleeping alone for 3 nights now and, despite herself, Estelle thinks the bed feels too large without Nikolaidis. She gazes at the empty space where the Duke usually sleeps. They've only been lying beside each other for a little over a week but she's already gotten used to his presence. She usually goes to bed before him. But, she would pretend to sleep while waiting until she would hear him quietly crawl into his own side. It felt comforting for her when she knew he was there. He somehow makes her feel a little less lonely in this new world.

She hears the bedroom door opening and turns around to see a tired Nikolaidis still in his black armor coming into the room. He rushes to give her a hug and Estelle could feel her heart melt from his embrace. He smells just like the night she first met him; pine and leather. I'm glad he's back and safe.

"I missed you," he whispers into her ear. She stands stiffly, making a conscious effort not to wrap her arms around him in return. I really want to say I miss him too.

"I'm sorry I couldn't catch him," Nikolaidis lets go of her. He wore an expression that reminded Estelle of herself during times when she felt like she disappointed her parents. It made her feel a sharp prick in her heart. 

I want to comfort him, tell him it's okay and that I know he wouldn't let that crazy man near me again. But that would show him I care. I have to be cold and distant even if, I hate to admit, I've already developed feelings for him. I can see Nikolaidis also feels the same way. I'm not your typical dense female lead who doesn't know the male lead likes her even though it's as clear as day. However, if I allow our feelings for each other to grow that would mean I'm also dooming him to turn into the monster that the writer of this story intended. 

This kind and warm-hearted man doesn't deserve to become this novel's villainous Duke. I should have continued to stay away from him. That almost kiss we had a few days ago was my mistake. I'm sorry Nikolaidis... This isn't only for my survival but for your salvation as well.

"You should get changed. I'm going to sleep first," Estelle turns her back on him and goes to bed alone.

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The reason why Nikoalaidis has been working extra hard lately is because of the preparations for Estelle's birthday party and the dozens of reports he needed to write and sign after his completed mission at the Empire's western border. But now that all of those are finished, he finally has some time to spare. He wanted to take Estelle on a trip at the lakeside cottage they own which is only a few hours away from the castle, just the two of them. He wanted to do it before her birthday which is already next week.

Despite the fact that he still has his regular duties of managing the Blanchard Dukedom, he thinks some time away from the castle would be good for his wife. He noticed she seems down and distant since his return from hunting down Nathaniel. He asked Abenant if the Duchess is sick. The butler responded that she's perfectly fine although she still hasn't regained any of her memories yet.

He brings it up during their dinner together, "would you like to take a short vacation with me, Estelle? I'm thinking of us staying for 2 days in a cottage that's beside Lake Gayani."

She looks up from her plate, a blank expression on her face. "Just the two of us?" She sounded as if she didn't like the idea of them alone on a trip together.

"Yes but it's alright if you don't want to go," he gives her a smile but he feels like a thorn has been struck in his chest. 

The tugging pulse is there again. He's been ignoring it because he's still unsure what it means. He feels it throb every moment he sees and thinks of Estelle. It makes him want to protect her, hold her, make her happy and kiss her. Is it love? Do I love her?

He looks at her small face illuminated by the hundreds of candles that surrounded the dining hall and it hit him. The warm glow of the candles reminded him of that exact moment he first laid eyes on Estelle at Prince Henrik's wedding banquet. In the sea of people, he only saw her. It's been two years yet not a single thing changed. She is as beautiful and enchanting as that night. She captivated him without doing anything special.

I love her. All along, it was love at first sight. It's so simple but why did I only realize it now? I'm a fool. 

"I'd rather not go," Estelle says and returns to staring at her plate, not eating.

He will never hope that she'll love him back. But, at the very least he wishes she would feel comfortable around him. Her recent actions and words are making him think she dislikes him. He noticed his wife seemed to be avoiding him even though he thought they became closer after the incident. There was a sliver of hope in his heart when Estelle seemed willing to kiss him that day in his office. But upon his return, when she said nothing while he hugged her and admitted that he missed her, it made him take a step back.

"I understand..."

Would it be too selfish of me to confess my love for her? Nikolaidis is lost in his own mind as he laid in bed that night. He's pulled out of his thoughts when he hears sniffling beside him. Is Estelle crying? He turns to her side. Her back is to him and he could see her shoulders trembling. 

Without thinking, he pulls her and wraps her around his arms. She doesn't protest and buries her head in his chest. He caresses her and tightens his embrace. They both don't say anything as he lets her cry herself to sleep.

"I'm sorry Nikolaidis..." She mumbles as she sleeps in his arms.

Why are you sorry, Estelle? Why were you crying? When the time is right, I'll ask you.

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