KomaHina And KamuKoma OneShots

🖤Old Habits ❤️

“I would have no need to punish you.” Kamukura said. “Because your own thoughts will do that for me. In fact, it seems they already are.”

“Huh?”

“You are suffering.” Kamukura said. “I can tell.”

“That doesn’t matter.” Servant said, knowing how futile it would be to lie to Kamukura and say he was fine. 

“That is not up for you to decide.” Kamukura said.

“You’re right, sir.” Servant said despondently. “I’m sorry.” This time, Kamukura notices Servant’s right foot inching closer to the edge.

“You worship hope, don’t you?” Kamukura asked, catching his servant off guard.

“Yes, sir.” Servant said. “The absolute hope that can overcome any despair… that is what I want to see more than anything.”

“And yet here you are.” Kamukura said. “The despair is radiating off of you. Did you really think I wouldn’t know your intentions for coming up here?”

“I suppose that was wishful thinking.” Servant sighed. “If you know why I’m here, then why are you here? Do you want to watch? I don’t mind.” 

“I want you to come down.” Kamukura said. “I do not wish for you to die here.”

“Why not?” Komaeda asked. “We both know I deserve it. And it’s not like anything I do for you isn’t something you can do yourself far better.”

“You’re right, I don’t need your service.” Kamukura agreed. 

“See? So you shou-”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you.” 

Finally, Servant turned around. There was snow and frost all over the boy’s face, and caught in his hair and eyelashes. 

“What?” He asked.

“You heard me.” Kamukura said. “I don’t keep you around for your servitude. I keep you around because I… Enjoy your company.” The words felt foreign on his tongue. Did this mean he felt that Servant was interesting? That he brought him happiness? Possibly. Maybe he didn’t know what it truly meant to feel happy. 

“Why?” Servant asked. There were no tears in his eyes, nor the swirls that always appeared when he was having a crazy spell. He just looked tired. Dead, even.

“You are not boring.” Kamukura responded. Ordinarily, even this stiff half-compliment would send Servant into a drooling, shivering spiral, where he’d probably go on and on about how he was ‘unworthy of such praise from the Ultimate Hope himself’, and how he could just die. This time, however, Servant hardly reacted.

“I’m sorry to be so presumptuous as to think I may disagree but…” Komaeda trailed off. 

Izuru sighed. “We can talk more later. For now, let us return inside. The weather is unpleasant.”

“No.” Servant said harshly. It was the first very time he had ever outright defied an order from Kamukura. 

“You are not dying here.” Kamukura said firmy. “I will not permit it.”

“How will you stop me?” Komaeda asked. “Even with your talents, if I jumped now you wouldn’t reach me in time, and if you come any closer I’ll jump without hesitation.”

So he was delivering threats now. Hm.

“Do you really think with our combined luck you could ever die, Servant?” Kamukura said. “Maybe with yours alone, you could, but as long as I want you to live, you can not die.”

Servant inched closer to the edge, looking down over the side. 

“It’s a long way down, sir.” He said. “No matter how lucky we are, I can’t survive such a drop. Even if it was water down there I wouldn’t stand a chance.”

Servant snuck another few shuffles closer to the edge.

“Servant.” Kamukura warned. The boy didn’t stop. “Servant. Komaeda!” It was the first time Kamukura addressed the boy by name. It was also the first time he raised his voice at him. The frost covered boy stopped in his tracks.

“Don’t you dare take another step, Komaeda, do you hear me?” Komaeda had never heard Kamukura speak with so much emotion before. The man’s face was no longer stoic, he looked angry. 

“S-Sir, I-” Komaeda started. He didn’t know what to say. This sudden shift in attitude was throwing him off. 

“I am not losing you today.” Kamukura said firmly. 

“S-Sir, you’re talking as if you need me.” Komaeda said, thoroughly shaken.

“Maybe I do.” Kamukura said. “It doesn’t matter. Just come back to me.” He was quiet for a moment before adding, “Please.” The ‘please’ threw Komaeda off even more. He was at a complete loss. Komaeda didn’t know what to do, or what to say, all he knew was that in that moment he broke down, and began sobbing hysterically. He collapsed to his knees and cried, as Kamukura closed the gap between the two, and pulled Komaeda in close to his chest, sheltering the boy from the snow. 

“I just want to die.” Komaeda said shakily. “I-I can’t do this, sir. Please, just kill me.” 

“No.” Kamukura said. “Didn’t I tell you? I’m not letting you die. Now I’ll ask one last time, will you come back inside with me?”

Komaeda hesitated, before conceding. “Yes, sir.” He whispered. 

Kamukura drew himself to his feet, and pulled Komaeda up with him. Kamukura kept one arm around Komaeda as he led him back inside, and into his bedroom. Kamukura sat Komaeda down on the bed, and gave him a towel to wipe all the snow off of him as best he could. Kamukura didn’t mind watching his sheets get soaked through as bits of snow and ice melted off of Komaeda’s body. 

“You should have come to me.” Kamukura said after a while.

“Huh?”

“You can tell me when you’re feeling like this. I do not want you to be hurting.”

“Why are you being so kind to me?” Komaeda asked. “I disobeyed you multiple times today, shouldn’t you be mad?”

“I can not blame you for suffering.” Kamukura said. “I simply want you to be okay. I am not angry with you.” 

“B-But sir, I-”

“And you can stop calling me ‘sir’.” Kamukura said. “It is not necessary.”

“Huh? But then… what am I to call you?” Komaeda asked.

“I have a name, Komaeda.” Kamukura said dryly.

“Ah, but, I couldn’t! I mean, for trash like me to-”

“I called you by your name.” Kamukura pointed out. “It only makes sense for you to call me by mine.”

"K-Kamukura-Sama?" Komaeda tried.

"Just 'Kamukura' is fine." Kamukura sighed. Komaeda but his lip and was silent for a moment before speaking.

“I-I’m sorry, sir, but I just can’t.”

Kamukura sighed.

He supposed some habits just couldn’t be shaken off.

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Lmao so this has been sitting on a doc for the past 3 months cause I wanted to wait to post it today :p
Exactly a year ago today I tried to kill myself so I figured today'd be a good day to post this lmao
Also if you don't like the fact that there's been more Izuru than Hajime lately, ✨too bad✨