It's Not Me, Its Insecurity

Chapter 5

Toby, who was still sitting across from me grinning like an idiot, decided to pipe up again, "I agree. The thought that you two could have been a little more than friends while they were still dating would hurt even more. But I have to wonder, what are you going to do if he asks you two to kiss to prove it?"

"Ugh. No offense Kay, but I'm not going to kiss you." I refused, sticking my tongue out in aversion.

"Michelle, you know I wouldn't do that to you. I would find some way around it if he asked. I don't want to ruin your first kiss like that." Kayla assured before she realized what she was saying out loud.

My face turned a slight pink as Kayla gasped softly when I turned slightly to look at Toby who was staring at me, no longer amused by the thought of me pretending to date Kayla. As Kayla apologized profusely, Toby shook his head at me and I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Calm down, Kayla," I said as sternly as I could, "It's not like it's a secret that I don't have a lot of umm, experience...with the opposite sex."

With a disgruntled look, Kayla seemed to want to say something but hesitated before deciding t o just say it.

"That's kind of why I think Brian would believe it. He kind of already thinks you aren't into guys. It's just that you don't really flirt with any guys or anything. I know it's because you're shy but other people think it's because you aren't interested."

I gave her a flat look, "You're not really helping your cause here, Kayla."

It hurt to think that people thought because I was shy and never dated, that I wasn't into guys. But could I really blame them? And what did it matter what they thought anyway? As long as my friends know the truth. Well, some of it.

"Come on," She practically begged, "I promise it won't be that bad and we only have to pretend for a few weeks. A month tops."

"Kayla, you might not care if everyone thinks you're a lesbian for a while, but I do. Like you said they already wonder about me and if this gets around, then the air of mystery I've got going will dissolve and I'll never get a date."

"That's not true. Plus nobody but Brian and maybe a couple of his guy friends will know. Nobody will care. Right Toby?"

I glanced over to Toby who had been quiet for a while and he had a look of concentration on his face before shaking his head at Kayla.

"Hey. Don't drag me into this."

"What do you mean don't drag you into this? It was your idea in the first place." I pointed at him.

"I've got to get going anyway," He responded by getting up and looking at his phone, "I'll text you later when and where. Your number is the same right?"

"Yeah," I frowned at his sudden departure. I know what Kayla said made things awkward, but was he really upset over it?

"Okay then. Have a good rest of your Christmas guys."Then he left, knowing his way out.

"Umm. What was that about?" Kayla asked with a confused expression as soon as we heard the door shut.

"Dunno. Maybe it had something to do with you bringing up my apparent lesbian-ness." I shrugged, not ready to explain our history.

"Well, what was he doing here in the first place? I thought he was Alyson's friend."

"He is. He forgot his phone here last night and came to pick it up."

"Yeah, but he stayed to talk with you. You two seemed pretty close. I mean, I've never seen you so comfortable around a guy like that before."

"I don't know what you are suggesting but I've known him for a while because of Alyson. We've got music in common so it's not that hard to talk to him."