I look up at the sky with dry stayned cheeks and red eyes. My hair is messy and my body is shacking. He broke me in ways that I thought no one could, in just one night, shattering my soul.
The saddest part in life is saying goodbye to someone that you wish to spend a lifetime with. But he told me lies and made me cry, so now is time to say it.
The last time I felt alive was just a few hours ago but it feels like it was an eternity back. I looked into his eyes, felt his skin and felt his lips on mine. And then everything was gone. With a blink of an eye, it was all gone.
It's over. There is no 'we' anymore. Now there is just a broken soul. The words he told me, the ones that broke me, repeat inside my head torturing me...
'Do you really think I could have loved you?!'
'No one will love you!'
'You are pathetic...'
My heart aches as each sentence repeat over and over again. And the worst part is have to watch as your world fall apart and you can't do anything.
I climb the window to my room. It's late and the sky is dark. I can't enter by the front door because John is home. I just hope he is passed out on the couch.
I glance inside the window, there was only darkness meaning the lights were off just like I had left. I make my way inside and turn on the lights. As I turn around to change my clothes a gasp escape my lips as a figure was sitted on my bed.
John was looking at me. His eyes bloodshot because of the alchool. He gets up from my bed and start to make his way to me, stopping centimeters away from my face. He looks at me up and down with angry and lust filled eyes.
"What a whore." he says quietly before his hands grab my jaw, pulling it forward. I feel like trowing up.
He lowers his hands touching my breasts. His lips on my neck kissing and sucking it. I never felt so dirty. "Please stop!" I beg him as tears start to build in my eyes.
"You know you want it." he replied.
Just when I thought my night couldn't get any worse this happens.
He doesn't stop. I tried to fight and scream but his right hand covers my mouth as his left hand start to unbuckle his belt.
After a few minutes he starts to take off my pants and shirt leaving me only in my underwear. He trows me in my bed. I tried to run but he yanked my hair and brought me back to the bed.
Again his hand covers my mouth. Tears running down my cheeks and muffled screams escaping my lips.
He forces himself into me repeatedly. I beg him to stop, but he doesn't.
This moment is the worst of my life. He could have beaten me but this, is just too much. In this moment I just wanted to die.
flashback over
Suddendly I find the strengh needed to talk. "Touch me and I'll fucking kill you!" I say with a raspy voice. He laughs at me.
He fucking laughed.
"How are you going to do that, princess?" he asked me with a mocking tone.
I stay quiet, but not because I don't have an answer. But because if I tell him what I am capable of, I'll lose the element of surprise.
He thinks I'm just some girl that spends her father's money.
I need to escape. I've been observing them all this week. I've learned a lot, now I just need to carry on with my escape plan.
I'm pulled out of my thoughts as my face turned to the side. They are punching me, but I can't feel anything anymore. I've got used to the pain.
The drugs and the torture are too much for my body and soon I pass out.
----------------------------
For those who had been sexually assaulted, I want you to know that it wasn't your fault and you are not alone. A person who commited sexual assault is a perpetrator or offender. A person who is sexually assulted is a survivor or victim.
Sexual assault is a crime, and the victim has the right to report what happened to them, but only if they want to.
Sexual assault is horrifying in concept, let alone as a lived experience.
This is the last TW, there will be at least one more chapter that talks about sexual assault and abuse.
Love y'all <3
XOXO
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