Ice Cream - Starchaser

Chapter 10

Walburga was in Regulus' room once more. It was Tuesday afternoon, just after Regulus had finished his shift. He made his way to his mother, sitting next to her. She brushed his hair out of his face, it falling back, it wasn't very long.

"Reg," she began. Regulus immediately knew it was going to be a long day. "Where were you this morning?" she asked. "Your father and I were worried due to your absence."

Regulus did everything in his mental grasp to not push his mother away from him. She ruffled his hair, looking at him with the most upmost concern.

Walburga has always been known for her manipulation. That's what Regulus knew her by. For years it worked on him. He never wanted to be like his brother when all she said was he was the worst. Sirius Black was the worst thing she could produce. Yet, with Regulus, she had a second chance. She forced all of that upon him. Regulus knew this, but Regulus never tried to stop it. He never attempted to escape it. He was loyal to the Black family, his family. That was nothing like Sirius.

It was disgusting, how they pushed their morals upon Regulus. They told him he must keep the blood pure as they did. It made him disgusted, uncomfortable, and want to lurch just by hearing it.

His mother was also his second cousin once removed. This made his brother his third cousin.

This fact always disgusted Regulus. He never wanted to be the child of two family members. He didn't see this as right. His parents would force this upon him, telling him he must marry family too. To his luck, all of them married off before he could. He's been free ever since.

That didn't stop Walburga, no. Why would it? She was a cruel women who would trap her sons in the basement when they didn't behave. She was the woman who would take their prised possessions and burn them in front of them if they misbehaved. She was the woman who slapped her sons when they misbehaved.

Since there was no other family members for Regulus to marry off to, she picked the second best thing. She told him that she would approve of a woman to her liking. Regulus was required to marry this woman. He needed to help the woman bear children. This was her requirements for being a child of Black.

Why Regulus allowed this to be forced on himself was answered by one simple answer: he was scared. He was scared of his mother, of his father. He was disgusted, mortified.

There were days he'd go to bed weeping from the fear.

He could not escape. He chose to endure it. Safely enough he managed to survive. But to survive was not always to live.

With no control over his expenses, Regulus was stuck. Even if Regulus wanted to escape, he couldn't. He'd be thrown on the streets. In some ways he believed that'd be better than living with his parents, but he couldn't. The banning of friends also limited any way to escape.

At least for Sirius he had James, Regulus had no one.

Not until recent, and even then how well could he rely on them? On Barty, Evan, Pandora? Even James? They barely knew him. He barely knew them. How would this work out for him?

Regulus composed himself. He couldn't push his mother's hand away. He couldn't push anything she did away from him, limiting his punishment. He sat there and endured. Maybe Sirius would live better if he did as well. He assumed Sirius had been off horribly, that's what his mother always told him.

"I'm sorry, mum," Regulus told her.

Walburga took her hand off Regulus' hair and for a split second he thanked any divine being there was in the world. He spoke too soon, Walburga's hand smacking across his cheek.

"Sorry?" she asked. She began crying. She moved to hold Regulus in her arms. He was stiff yet he hugged her back. If he didn't, he didn't know what she'd do. "You can't do such a thing!" she wept. "Don't leave me, Reg, please!"

Regulus' heart sunk. He really was her last hope. He couldn't leave her. She couldn't survive without him.

"I won't, mum," he told her. He knew he believed the words that escaped his mouth. The way his vocal cords rang. He wouldn't leave his mother. He simply couldn't.

"I can't live in such a pain," she sobbed. "You know what your father does! I cannot survive without you. My son, my beautiful son!" She held onto him tighter. Regulus could barely breathe. This was his punishment for leaving. He shouldn't have gone to breakfast with Evan. That was his fault. He knew it was his fault. How could he be so stupid?

"Oh, where did you go?" she asked. Her tears stained his shirt.

Regulus questioned whether he should lie or speak truth. In fear of what his mother would do if he lied, he told her the truth and nothing but it.

"I ate breakfast at the Rosiers."

Walburga pulled herself out of Regulus' arms. She stood up and walked around his room. She touched his things, touched his clothes, the jewellery he had been given by dead family members. She was analysing what was most important to him. Regulus had seen this many times before.

"Why would you leave us?" she asked. She continued to walk around, scratching her arms with her long nails. "Do we not do enough? What did we do wrong? Why would you leave us? Are we not worth anything? Do you want to leave?" She turned around. Her dark black eyes stared into his. He could have cried but he didn't. She would slap him. "Do you want to leave me, Regulus?"

Walburga only used Regulus' full first name when she felt like she could win. Yes, Regulus knew this. He couldn't stop her. He was frozen. He knew she was going to do something. She knew she had the upper hand. She was seconds away from throwing something of his into the fireplace, laughing while she watched it burn.

What was he supposed to do?

"I don't want to leave you," he lied. I can't breathe around you, he wanted to say. You control me. I'm not safe. I want to live. Around you I am dead. He couldn't tell her that. He could never tell Walburga that. He could never, she would destroy him like she had Sirius.

"Then why'd you go to the Rosiers?" she asked. Her eyes glistened. She looked innocent, as if her blood wasn't boiling. She looked like a good woman, her long wavy black hair. She looked kind. Nothing like the monster she was.

Regulus continued to look into her eyes. If he looked away she would win.

"Mr Rosier invited me to dine with them."

Walburga stepped closer to him. She lifted his chin, looking closer into his eyes. She brushed his cheeks with her index.

"Why didn't you take us with, Regulus?"

Regulus continued to stare. "Only I was allowed to come, mum." That wasn't a lie. "It was a work event." That was a lie. It was a familial breakfast and Regulus was allowed due to the immense amount of trust Rosier had with him. Mr Rosier trusted Regulus, he despised the Blacks. Regulus could never tell his mother that he didn't like her.

Thankfully, Walburga didn't notice.

She slapped Regulus on the cheek she didn't strike before. He looked back into her eyes. That's what she wanted. She began to cry again. "Oh, Regulus," she cried. "I didn't mean to hurt you!" She did. "I don't know what came over me, Regulus." She always tried to hurt him. "I love you! Don't you love me, Regulus?"

Regulus finally blinked. Tears tried to break through. He couldn't cry in front of his mother. He never could. "I do." He swallowed the clog in his throat. "I love you."

She smiled at him. She was a monster. "I love you too. Don't leave me." She wiped her tears with her index fingers. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I won't leave you, mum." He wanted to. But he'd grown accustom to her. What would he do without her? That's what she forced into his head. He couldn't live without his mum.