My Summer of Firsts

Chapter 31 - Under Pressure

I actually got a thrill at the request, my heart leaping. "Seriously?" I smiled so wide I was sure he could see my wisdom teeth—if I hadn't gotten them removed three years ago. I think my favorite part of painting my nails was the actual work of it. It was very therapeutic for me.

"But I can't pull off that." He pointed at my cherry red nails. "I need something cool, but subdued."

"How about black? It's tried and true."

"Eh." Derek grimaced. "Black is a little played out. What else ya got?"

I jumped off my stool and darted over to the cosmetics aisle before he could change his mind. I scanned the colors, searching for something he might like.

Derek stepped up to the shelf and picked up a bottle. He turned it over and read off the name: "Steel Temptress." He grinned at me. "That would make an awesome band name."

"Better than Roadkill Therapy."

Derek scoffed and punched me in the shoulder. "It's Roadkill State of Mind, douchebag."

"Because that's better." I grabbed the bottle from him. "Come on."

He followed me back to the register. I marked the price and name on my list to pay later.

Derek laid his hand flat on the counter, and I got to work. There was enough sheen in the color to make it pop without being ostentatious. He seemed overjoyed by the first nail I finished.

"Now that the band thing is out in the open, are you gonna stick around town until the tour starts?" I asked.

He'd already stayed in town longer than he originally planned. I suspected Brittany was the reason. His high school fantasy was coming to life, and he didn't want to let that go yet.

"Hell no."

"Too bad. I would have liked to spend more time with you. Between work and Elian on my end, and you with Brittany, we haven't hung out much, just the two of us."

Derek nodded. "I know what you mean."

"I just miss you sometimes." I paused my painting to look up at him. "All the time actually."

"Me, too, dude."

I sighed. "So, when are you leaving?"

"Probably in a few days. I want to try again with my parents one more time before I go. Maybe if I can get my dad alone, I can explain that school will always be there, but this opportunity is like once in a lifetime."

I nodded. "He's a reasonable guy. Just come up with a practical backup plan for what happens if this music thing goes sideways. Even if it's total bullshit. He'll probably appreciate your forethought."

"That's not a bad idea."

I finished up the last nail on his right hand and admired my work. "How is that?"

Derek examined his nails with a big smile. "I love it. It's so cool."

I started on his left hand. "Before you split town, make sure to carve out some time so we can really hang out. Even if it's just watching movies."

"Shelly told me about her offer." Derek said, out of the blue.

It startled me enough that I painted across his skin. I grabbed one of the sanitizing wipes we used to the clean the counter. "What about it?" I asked, wiping the polish off his finger.

"Are you gonna do it?"

"I don't know. I doubt it."

"Why?"

"Elian also asked me to come stay with him in Chicago."

Derek's eyes lit up. "I didn't know you guys were that serious."

I released a huge breath. "I don't know if we are. I mean, I love him, and I love being with him, and it seems like it's a no-brainer, but—"

"But what?"

"I'm afraid." I said, twisting the lid on the polish.

Derek held his hands out in front of him to look over my work with delight. "I'm kinda shocked that you didn't jump at the chance. You've been wanting to fall in love for as long as I've known you."

"Moving to a whole new city just to be with someone is a huge commitment. How do you know when you're ready for something like that? It's only been a little over month."

"You could always just rent your own place." Derek suggested. "Just because you move there for him doesn't mean you have to live with him right away. I know you've got a ton of money socked away somewhere."

"It's not a ton. But it might be enough for a couple months' rent on an apartment. I'd probably need to find a roommate."

Derek nodded. "See, now you've got a plan." He reached across to slap my shoulder. "And I'll have a crash pad for when the band passes through Chi-town."

"I haven't made up my mind to go yet."

Derek sighed. "Don't let fear run your life."

"But what if it doesn't work out? We're kind of in a lovey-dovey bubble here. What if we break up after I uproot my whole life?"

"What life?" Derek asked, raising his arms out to the side. "Not to be a dick, but your life literally hasn't changed since high school. You have the same job, the same car. You hang out with people you barely liked in high school just because they're still here. Don't get stuck in this town, Steven."

He had a point. The people I hung out with nowadays were nothing like the friends I had growing up. They were placeholders that I never bothered getting to know. And they didn't really know me. Derek and Shelly were still like family, even after almost three years of them being away at school. We fell back into our old patterns with ease and comfort. I loved them and they loved me.

If I didn't make this leap now, I'm not sure I ever would. Even if it turned out to be a disastrous mistake, at least I could say I tried.