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Rosie

What a weekend! Silverstone is always an intense one! I'm meeting lando outside the paddock as I'm going to his for the week. I will still be working but I can do pretty much all of it remotely. He asked me before the race earlier and I couldn't help but agree. I'm currently on my way down to Ferrari to let Charles know my change of plan. I reckon he isn't going to be too happy but I need to give me and lando the best chance. "Rosie?" I spin round to see Max "well done today" I say to him and he grins "yeah worth getting in the car this weekend!" I laugh "where are you off to?" He asks me curiously "oh to see Charles" his eyes widen "are you guys a thing now?" I shake my head immediately "nope he is my best friend though!" Max seems satisfied with my answer "cool, well I won't keep you, have a good week, see you in Germany" I say the same and it only takes me a couple more seconds to reach the Ferrari garage.

Charles

"Hey mon ange, what are you doing here?" She looks at me with her wide eyes "actually I came to let you know I won't be on the flight later" confusion washes over my thoughts "oh why?" She starts to turn red "I'm going to stay with Lando this week" immediately my blood starts to boil "you are what? Are you stupid?" She seems really taken aback by my reaction "no I'm not, but I do want to make things work between me and him" I can't help but shake my head "what makes you think it will end any differently to before? He hasn't changed Rosie, he never will" I spot the tears threatening to fall from her eyes and it hurts my heart "you know what Charles you don't control my decisions" she snaps at me "well perhaps I should! If you weren't so wrapped up in him perhaps you could've been happier with someone else" she scoffs "like you?" She questions and without thinking I respond "yes me, you could be happy with me. I wouldn't ever treat you like he has. I love you Rosie more than you could understand and I would love your baby as my own" she steps back "you aren't perfect Charles, don't act like you are my saviour" she whispers "no I'm not but I know I'm better for you than that fuck up" I snap and her tears start to fall "you know what Charles, I don't need this, I don't need you" she can't mean that "well then, I won't be here when it all goes wrong and you are heartbroken again" I say and turn to head into the Ferrari garage my heart breaking as I take every step. I can hear her crying as I walk away but I'm done, I have been supportive and she has thrown that in my face.

Rosie

What a dickhead. I have never run down the paddock so fast. I can't stop the tears falling down my cheeks, why does this feel worse than when I found Lando with Ella? I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I take some deep breaths against the side of the AlphaTauri motorhome. I try to stop the sobs that won't stop erupting out of my chest "Rosie?" I recognise the French accent and my heart drops further "are you okay?" Pierre questions placing a hand on my shoulder "I've just had a massive fight with Charles" he looks confused "what? But you two are endgame?" Now I'm confused "well I've started seeing Lando again and he isn't supportive" he looks angry "well of course he isn't, he is completely in love with you" this feels like a dagger through my heart "I need to try with Lando, for me" his expression softens "I can understand but just because you are having a baby together doesn't mean he is your best option, now let me walk you out?" I nod and he wraps his arm around my shoulder "he will come round, he loves you too much to not have you in his life" Pierre assured me as we arrive at my motorhome "thank you, please look out for him" I say and he knows what I mean "of course, take care Rosie"

I managed to calm myself down whilst I got my suitcase and bags together. Once I was in the car with Lando I switched off from the Charles drama and decided to focus on what I believe will make me happy. He can tell something is wrong but he is the last person I want to discuss this with. He kept looking over at me as we drove towards Woking. Once we finally arrive at his house I practically jump out of the car "careful Rosie" Lando comments grabbing out luggage from the boot. I wait patiently behind him as he unlocks the door. It feel beyond strange to be back here again. Nothing has changed since I lived here except the obvious, none of my stuff is still here. I stand in the doorway for a few minutes before Lando realises that I haven't followed him into the house "shit RoRo I forgot this might be weird for you" he tells me walking over to stand directly in front of my and I can't help but wrap my arms around him and I burst into tears.

Once I've calmed down Lando suggests we get to bed, it's been a long day. He goes to open the guest room and I stop his hand with my own "can I stay with you?" I can hear the desperation in my own voice but his face lights up "of course you can" we both walk over to what was our bedroom and another wave of uncertainty crashes over me but I push it aside, I want this to work. I pull out my pjs and realise it's one of Charles' shirts, I've been sleeping in these for the last few weeks, I hate that we fought. I slip the shirt over my head and immediately I feel better, perhaps Charles was right? Could I be happier with him? Just as the thought crosses my mind Lando walks back in the room and the butterflies in my stomach go crazy and i push my worries away.

We spent the few day going backwards and forwards to different factories. I do love being at the Grove and I got a good amount of work done, we always need upgrades as the season progresses and we have a couple to try on the car in Germany. I now get 2 days off before we fly out and Lando has managed to get the same. It's been really good to spend this time together, it feels right. Although I do miss Charles; I didn't think I would feel like this. I also feel guilty that I didn't come back to Monaco, I don't like feeling like this.
"RoRo what this plan for today?" Lando questions and I have a little think "shall we go to IKEA?" He nods "I would absolutely love that!" We get ourselves sorted and head on the road. We arrive after around 2 hours and I can hide my giddy excitement, I can finally get and order baby stuff! I was going to get some stuff sent to Monaco but I don't think I'm overly welcome there anymore. I do a stupid pose outside before we head in and lando snaps a picture. "What did you want to look at?" I wasn't too sure about broaching this subject "well we need nursery stuff if that is something you are open to getting?" He nods "absolutely! For mine?" I shake my head "I'm going to find a house near Williams" his eyes widen "no need to do that! You can move in with me as soon as you feel ready?" I take a few minutes to process whilst picking up a couple of blankets and popping them in the trolly "okay, it makes sense" he grins "well then let's get nursery shopping!" We hurry through most of IKEA till we got to the kids section. I suddenly felt extremely overwhelmed "jeeez there is a lot of stuff" Lando looks just as terrified as I feel "well let's be honest we need to mainly focus on a cot and drawers today" I say and he seems to calm down "okay that we can do" he  reassures us both. This massive U turn he has made still scares me, what if Charles was right? What if this is one huge mistake. "Rosie look at this one" he gestures towards a cute white cot with curved ends and suddenly I'm drawn back into the fantasy of having a this family with him "I love it" I tell him and I start to feel like it will be okay.

Once we arrive back from IKEA with a cot a couple of sets of drawers and some cute baby decorations I am absolutely shattered. Lando takes everything upstairs to the spare room and this finally feels right, like I made the right decision. My phone goes off and I see that Lando tagged me in a post

Tin

@landonorris IKEA baby! Starting off the week together getting ourselves ready for the future arrival! @rosierussell63

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@landonorris IKEA baby! Starting off the week together getting ourselves ready for the future arrival! @rosierussell63

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