the peregrine

28

• 𝐓𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐞-𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐝 •

As I made my way towards the school gym's door, I could hear the yells inside, indicating a start of the practice. For the first time, I was late for a club activity so I arrived with a heavy breath from running.

"I'm sorry." paghingi ko ng tawad kay Sharmaine, "We had a little assembly with my class."

Tumango naman si Sharmaine bilang sagot habang ako'y nagsimulang tumulong sa kanya. The whole place looked very busy since the coach ran several and hard drills for the boys. It wasn't a new sight for me since I get to see it all the time, so I just did my thing as one of the managers.

When break time for them came, I got busy providing them their refreshments and towels to dry their sweat off. Kaya I was running here and there, and it was the only thing I was focused on.

Until, "Bonnie, are you okay?" asked Sharmaine when I went back to my seat next to her in the bench after doing my job.

"What do you mean?" I asked back, hoping she wouldn't continue to ask.

At mukha namang nakuhaan ng tinik ang aking lalamunan nang siya'y umiling at sinimulang buksan ang kanyang notebook. Napatingin naman ako sa ginagawa niya at nagtaka kung makakaranas ba ako ng ganyan kung gagraduate na sina Sharmaine.

But then another thought cut me off, what if I'll relocate 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯?

Learning about what Sharmaine is doing would be useless. Everything that I've built up would be useless. And of course, confessing would be useless.

Unless if he rejects me, leaving would make me happy for once. Maybe it would erase his existence in my mind, something that I also don't want to happen.

Ngunit may parte sa akin na ayaw sa ideyang umalis dahil nareject. It is a coward's move and I am not one of 'em. And also, I didn't like the idea of him rejecting me. But for that to happen, I should just keep my mouth shut and hide my feelings, which I also don't like. Ayaw ko makaramdam ng paghihinayang kung may ibang aangkin sa kanya, lalo na kung hindi ko man lang nasabi ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.

But I know that I can't keep him for myself that long, especially since he's very attractive. I just know that he already caught a lot of eyes, lalo na mula sa mga babae. Who knows if someone would confess to him and he would accept that random girl's feelings. And what if someone already did?!

𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺

"BONNIE!!!"

"ANO BA?!?!" 𝘧*𝘤𝘬.

I was so caught up with everything in my mind that I couldn't hear someone calling me. Ang mas malala pa non ay kung sino ang nasagutan ko ng pasigaw, which, unfortunately, was Tobias.

𝘞𝘩𝘺?! 𝘋𝘰𝘦𝘴?! 𝘐𝘵?! 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦?! 𝘛𝘰?! 𝘉𝘦?! 𝘏𝘪𝘮?!

"O-oh...I-I'm sorry..T-Toby." sabi ko habang iniyuko ang aking ulo.

Nanatili naman siyang nakatayo sa aking harapan kasama ang karaniwan nitong malamlam na ekspresyon. And every second that he stood there, my heart was beating faster than it already was.

"Okay lang." he said in a monotone voice, making me feel bad even more. Tumalikod naman siya at lumayo mula sa akin habang naiwan ako doon na nakatitig sa papalayo niyang pigura.

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦?

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sharmaine asked for the second time, perhaps she saw what happened earlier. At hindi lang naman siya ang nakakita kundi ang ilan din, except for those who are seated far away from where I am.