Hey Mister, Your Fly Is Open

That Slut-Bucket

“Kiss my ass.”

“But You sa—“

“---kiss my ass. I said Kiss. My. Ass.”

Was he deaf or something? If not then what the hell did he have in his ear, some superglue mistakenly shaped and colored as ear wax?

He stood up at his full length and tossed the wrench to the side, “I changed your TIRE for you.”

“I’ll pay you enough money to hop the border with it Spic.”

“Why the hell are you so damn EVIL?”

I hopped off the car and puffed my chest out with my head held high (I was feeling myself, haha). Even though he was nearly a foot taller than me I pushed him back roughly, “Who asks a girl if she can be his fake girlfriend in exchange for fixing her tire?”

That was a stupid question on my part, but I enjoyed being an asshole to him at that moment, “Let me tell you something Gutierrez, you’re not even fit to be my romp in the dark.”

Not that I’d ever had a romp in the dark, but we won’t tell anybody about my current virginity.

“I wouldn’t dare to even touch you, piece of shit.”

Yeah, it was getting good, but I maintained my angry face.

“Oh ho ho, so lil Mexican boy is too good to romp a black girl in the dark huh?”

God he was steaming, it was so hilarious, “I didn’t say that!”

Push, push. I pressed the flat of my palms against his chest and pushed him back as hard as I could. That was when he stumbled, but he caught himself just in time to break his fall.

“BITCH.”

“So I’m a dog now? Well ruff ruff back atcha.” I crossed my arms and leaned against the car as he spewed obscenities.

He noted the look of calmness on my face and stopped, “You did that on purpose?”

I shrugged, “I needed entertainment.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. Everything. Nothing at all.”

Ricky leaned over and picked his monkey wrench back up, “Will you do it then?”

I pressed my back against the drivers side of the car and observed my (I’m not even lying) raggedy fingernails. He looked so pitiful, but I wanted to play with him a little bit more, “Tell me why.”

“I told you why O—“

“I know there’s at least another girl you could’ve picked for this blessing.” I sneered.

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away, “*insert gibber I can’t understand*”

“What was that?”

I couldn’t hear what he was saying for shit, he was mumbling something and looking embarrassed like it pained him to tell me the real reason why.

“There’s no one else ok? I’ve tried.”

Pride and power soared in my body until my head was pumped up to the max. I pictured myself then as a King-Queen ruling over sad powerless people like him. Someone needed me, He needed me and he had no one else.

Hell yeah I was power tripping, I probably even did that dance in ‘Drop It Like Its Hot’.

“Ah I see, but why do you need a date?”

“*insert more gibber I can’t understand*”

He had his head turned to the side again as he mumbled. His hand furiously moved as he rubbed the crook of his neck, again, again, again, again, by then I was so damn dizzy I had to pull his hand away from his neck. I held his hand and turned his face to mine using my right hand and his square chin, “I can’t hear a damn thing you’re saying.”