Aliya

chapter thirty-three.

I didn't go very far, though, because my hand had just reached towards the handle when Maryam pushed my shoulder, standing protectively over the knob.

I wondered if she knew that her fingers were shaking.

"What do you want to do?"

"What do you think I'm planning to do?"

"I... Well, how would I know? That's why I'm asking you," she said, jutting her head up.

I felt my heart drop. "You're being much more defensive than usual," I said. "Why?"

"No, I'm not. This is just an invasion of my privacy."

I could swear I almost choked on my own tongue, biting the side of my cheek so hard, the entire left side of my face felt numb. Whether that was out of laughter or anger, though, I somehow couldn't tell. "An invasion of privacy?"

Maryam blinked a few more times, her eyes shifting uneasily to the right, before she seemed to steel her resolve and nodded. "Yes! An invasion of privacy. My wardrobe is my wardrobe. Why do you want to open it?"

Was it possible to feel your face sink as low as your heart did?

I wasn't too sure, but it surely seemed that way.

"Is he still inside?"

"What?"

"Is he still inside the wardrobe?" I repeated. "Is that why you're calling it an invasion of privacy? Are you still hiding him there? Did you not let him out yet? Did you continue the moment I led the prince away?"

"No!" Maryam's answer came a little too quickly, but her eyes could not lie. Whoever her sweetheart was, they were not inside the wardrobe.

But there must've been something there, because I had never seen her look so panicked, her gaze constantly darting around as if desperate to find a hiding spot.

Slowly but surely, I could feel my patience running thin. "Maryam, move."

She shook her head. "I don't want to move," she said. "I have the right to protect my privacy."

"Alright then. You're correct, you do have the right to protect your privacy. But if per chance anything happens and you get caught with that lover, I will not help. You're on your own."

I wasn't a saint. I had never been, and I doubted I would ever try to be. It was hard enough trying to be kind to me, much less to everyone else.

If I offered my help to Maryam and she didn't want it, then there was very little that I could do.

Still, I couldn't deny that a little part of me felt bitter about the whole thing.

How much?

How much had Maryam changed without me noticing?

Or how much of this had been Maryam without me noticing?

Maryam bit her lip. "It's... I know what I'm doing."

"Do you really?" I asked. "Maryam, you're a child. You're barely 15, turned this not even a year ago. Since when did you not trust me so much?"

My voice felt heavy, even to myself, and I watched as she blinked furiously with every word I said.

By the end of it, it wasn't hard for me to spot the tears.

"You're wrong," she whispered. "I'm not a child. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing!"

"And if you know what you're doing, why are you so scared at the thought of getting caught? If you know what you're doing, you shouldn't get caught. You shouldn't have me leading away a prince from your bedroom who would have heard you and your lover kissing on your bed. What would you have done if it was Prince Finn instead? You're living in his quarters and kissing someone else behind his back; with a personality like his, do you think either of you would survive?"