New World✨|| Choi San Ateez FF (✔️)

Chapter 23

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Y/n POV

Coming back home the boys decided to order pizzas and watch a movie together.

I saw Hongjoong whisper something in Seonghwa's ear and then leave.

'Hongjoong doesn't have an appetite. He'll be in his room resting.'

All the members nodded . This was a common situation anyways. Tho today I felt like I knew what it was about. Or at least some of it. So I walked to his room and knocked. A soft 'come in' was heard and I entered.

He seemed a bit shocked to see me there but then he just turned his gaze to whatever he was doing before I came in.

'What is it? Do the guys need me for something?' he spoke without looking at me.

'I simply wanted to talk to you about what you saw...' I started.

He lifted his head a bit. Then down again.

'what about it?'

'Well you seemed a bit mad or.. I don't know frustrated after you saw us there doing...that...' It was embarrassing to even think about it.

He didn't answer so I continued.

'Is there something wrong? Is it about San being in Ateez and an idol? That it could cause problems to the group?' I paused hearing him sign.
'I'm really sorry Joong... I don't know how it happened really... You know how love is... It's unexpected...' I blushed a bit at the thought.

'Yeah... I know how love is.' I didn't say anything waiting for him to continue.
'and this is not about San being in Ateez. He finally got up and plopped on his bed.

' then what is it about?' I ask sitting right next to him. ' I mean... The only thing I could think of was that you have a crush on me but that's, of course, absurd! '

His eyes darkened watching me laugh at my words. He turned away from me frustrated.

' Of course! It is absurd! It's impossible for me to want you, isn't it? ' he said raising his voice.

' I.. I didn't mean--'

' clearly you did! I'm not San. I'll never be, right? Only San gets to want you.' he said pushing himself of the bed, anger taking over him as he walked a little further.
I got up and approached him slowly. I didn't know what to say. He continued.

' So what if I do? What if I want you?'

' Hongjoong... ' I slowly put my hand on his shoulder, his back still turned to me. I could feel him breathing heavily. He brought his own hand on mine for a second before turning around to face me.

His palm now found my cheek and moved towards my hair, pulling a loose strand behind my ear. His angered eyes fell on mine.

'Can't I have a chance?' he half whispered. His voice sound rough in my ears.

'Hongjoong... I... San...'

'DON'T! PLEASE DON'T SAY HIS NAME!' I looked at him in fear. He punched the wall next to us with force.

'Why...'. Tears slipped his eyes. 'Why can't it be me?'

He looked at me once again, making me unable to move. His eyes softened for a bit before they widened at my scared expression.

'Y/n... I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!' he said between tears. He tilted his head down, shaking it quickly and moved away from me.

I heard a faint whisper before I heard the door open and close behind me.