You Had Me All Along

You Had Me All Along - Chapter 47

Chapter 47

I woke up a few days later in my bed, by myself, to my phone buzzing on my nightstand. My eyes opened slowly, and it took me a moment to remember the night before. I wished instantly that I was with Carson now, but I'd made the choice to go home, without him. My heart ached and I was so scared.

   Carson and I were out for dinner, sitting across from each other at restaurant downtown. So far, the week had been good. Normal. We had both worked that day, and meeting him at the restaurant after going home to shower and change was the best part of my day. The mall had been busy, as well as the gym, and, honestly, seeing Carson made everything feel better. He was already there, lifting his hand to wave when I walked in. He stood up to kiss me, and then pulled out my chair for me. We'd been on plenty of dates, but every time I saw him dressed up or in public like this, my heart swelled in my chest.

   We had normal conversation, about our work days, what we had for lunch, how he was working on a new project. It was his boss' old Camero and he was really excited about it. I liked hearing him talk about his job. I loved that he was so comfortable with me, to tell me about it.

   After dinner, we met back at his apartment. I'd been flirting with him while we ate, touching, waiting to be alone. Now, it wasn't like I had to convince him that I wanted him. He pulled me over to the sofa, already pulling off his shirt. I smiled at him, climbing into his lap. When he kissed me, it felt like all of our pent up feelings of anxiousness, worry, and uncertainty were released, washed away. We were together and everything else would work out, somehow. We had plenty of things we'd both been thinking, worrying about - the baby, how things would be different, how we would move forward - but tonight was just for us. Being with Carson now was solidifying our connection, and our commitment. I'd told him lots of times since that last weekend, but now he knew I was all in. I knew he could feel it.

   "Mmm," he groaned, pulling me closer to him.

   I rubbed myself against him, knowing he liked it. He moaned again and then kissed my neck and down to my shoulder. I pulled his face back up to mine so I could kiss him again.

   "Thank you," he mumbled, his lips still against mine.

   I pulled back, only slightly. "For what?"

   He smirked, then pulled me closer again. "Not running away when things got complicated."

   "I told you, I'm in this with you," I said, shutting my eyes as he kissed his way down my neck again.

   "I'm so fucking happy about that," he said, between kisses.

   I planned on staying at the apartment that evening. I did that often, anyway, but I just wanted to stay in Carson's arms, feeling safe and happy and intimate. We had a few more days until our first day with Hunter and I wanted to make the most of the time now, before things were different.

   I was half asleep when my phone rang. Carson was watching TV, and nudged me gently. Sliding my body away from him to grab my phone, I felt sudden dread. That heavy feeling when you just know something is wrong.

   It was after 11P.M., and my dad was calling me.

   "Dad?" I answered, my voice quiet.

   There was some silence before he spoke. "Arden, come home." My heart started pounding. I'd never heard my dad sound so afraid.

   "Dad's what's wrong?" I asked, now breathing too fast.

   He hesitated again. "It's Dylan. He was in an accident."

   "What? What do you mean?" I asked, the words not making sense.

   "He's in the ER, in Jacksonville. Just come home, stay here, we are leaving for Jacksonville now." My dad, who was strong and tough, sounded like he was on the verge of crying.

   "Dad-"

   "Please, Arden. We will call you soon. Just stay at the house."

   And then he was gone. I was stunned, but as soon as my phone was away from my ear, I was crying. Carson moved quickly to be close, asking what was wrong.

   "I have to go," I said, barely aware that he was talking.

   "Ard."

   "Dylan," I managed to say.

   "What?"

   "I have to go home," I repeated, standing up. My legs felt like jello.

   "Arden, you're in shock. Can you tell me -"

   I shook my head in his direction. "I just have to go."

   I was already picking up my phone, then pulling on my sweater; it felt like I'd imagined the whole conversation with my dad.

   "Arden," Carson said, pulling at my hand. "I can come with you."

   "No." I shook my head again. "Stay. You have to work in the morning. I'll call you..." My logic didn't make sense, but nothing in my head made sense.

   "But, Arden, please. You're freaking me out," he went on, not letting me go.

   I turned back, tears running down my face. "I don't know if Dylan's okay. My dad asked me to go home, so that's what I'm doing."

  "Okay," he said, looking defeated. "I love you."

   I fell into him, letting him hug me, hard. I didn't want to go. "I love you, too."

   

Now, my phone kept buzzing and I slowly remembered why I was home that morning, alone. Dylan. An accident.

   It was 7A.M. and my mom was calling.

   "Mom?" I answered, my hand shaking.

   "Arden, honey, hi." She sounded too calm, and it freaked me out.

   "Mom, how's Dylan?" I was afraid of the answer, but I asked anyway.

   "He's... he made it out of surgery, overnight. We just got to see him." She paused. I took in a breath. "The doctors say he should wake up soon."

   "Oh, god, Mom," I breathed out, in disbelief. Then I realized she hadn't really told me about his condition. Was he stable? Was he going to be okay?

   "I know, honey. Dad and I are staying at a hotel near the hospital. I left a message for Dalton, but-"
   "I'll call him. And, can I come? I want to be with you and Dad," I interrupted.

   "Oh, Arden. Not today. You don't want to see your brother like this. I'll call you soon, to update, okay?" Still, she sounded too calm. But I knew it was her profession that was jading her now. She was used to hearing a lot of crazy things.

   "Tell him I love him," I spat out. It was all I could think of to say.

   "Of course, honey," she finished.

   And then I just prayed that I would get to tell Dylan that I loved him myself, again.