You Had Me All Along

You Had Me All Along - Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

"So how was... the whole day?" Kaden asked me, carefully, a minute later.

   I shrugged. I wanted to tell him everything, later. In private. I didn't want to air any of this in front of Finn. I knew that I still wanted Finn to like me. I wanted his approval, in general. And I'd always had it, until now. Now, he was looking at me like he didn't know me at all.

   "It was good," I said, but did not sound convincing at all.

   Kaden nodded, but Finn cleared his throat first. "You know about this guy that showed up here?" He was asking Kaden. 

   Kaden's eyes met mine, looking at me only. I tried to tell him not to say anything, but it didn't work. He couldn't read my mind. 

   "Yeah, uh, it's complicated," Kaden told him, slowly.

   "How so?" Finn wanted to know, narrowing his eyes.

   Kaden took in a breath. "He's an old friend. High school, you know? Guess he just got back to town, wanted to see Arden -"

   I held up a hand, stopping Kaden from saying anything else. He nodded, biting his bottom lip.

   "Finn, it is complicated," I told him, hoping that was enough.

   "Okay, but, he seemed pretty insistent on talking to you." He looked concerned now, more than jealous. "Is it bad?"

   "No," I said quickly. But was it? "I just haven't seen him in years."

   "So, why the sudden need for a reunion? On Christmas?" Finn asked, still very unsure about it all.

   I shrugged, because I really didn't have an answer for him. Finn was there, at my house, on Christmas. He had come after my mother invited him, since clearly I wasn't smart enough to realize that I should have done it myself. But what would I have done if Finn hadn't been there, when Carson showed up? Would I still have told him to leave?

   But Finn decided to be brave, suddenly. "I saw how you looked at him."

   That could have meant numerous things. "How?" I asked, nervous for his answer.

   "Like... you told him to go, but you didn't meant it."

   I didn't know what to say to that, so I just looked away. I looked at Kaden, who looked towards the window. In a way, it was true, and I hated that Finn had noticed. In a way, maybe I wanted to have a real conversation with Carson. But not there, not like that.

   Kaden coughed, attempting to diffuse the awkwardness.

   "He's from my past," I said, to no one.

   He was, but that didn't mean I didn't want him in my future.

   The words seemed to calm Finn, if only slightly. He nodded, then asked Kaden about some soccer game they both apparently had watched. I knew Finn didn't want to make a fight. He wouldn't push this now, but the conversation wasn't over.

   My mind wandered for a few minutes. I liked how my life was now. I was good with the relationships I had. I didn't have a lot of free time, and I loved spending the bit I had with Rylee and Kaden. I didn't need more, not from Finn and definitely not from Carson. But did I want it?

   Kaden and Rylee stayed for another hour or so, before it was time to get her home and into bed. She pouted, of course. That was what three year olds did when they had to do something they didn't want to do.

   "I want to stay." Her little lip was sticking out, as she looked up at Kaden.

   "I know, but it's late. Say thank you for your presents," Kaden told her, as she grabbed the big stuffed kitty from the floor, by the Christmas tree.

   "Thank you Aunty Arden. But I don't want go home. I can stay more?" the little girl said to me, with big hopefully eyes.

   I melted into a puddle, but shook my head. "Minnie misses you. Go give her a hug for me, okay?"

   Rylee's face lit up. "Okay! Come over and see her tomorrow, okay?"

   "Okay, I'll try."

   I followed Kaden, carrying Rylee, out to his car, leaving Finn in the house. I put her gifts in the front seat, while he buckled her in and then crossed my arms across my body, sighing.

   "So?" Kaden asked, leaning onto the car.

   "I don't know," I admitted. "I will call you later and tell you what happened." 

   "I know what happened. Carson showed up here, which was dumb on his part, and Finn saw how you reacted to that. He's jealous as hell, Missy."

   "I don't even know how I reacted!" I yelled. "It happened fast. But I told him to leave. I did."

   Kaden nodded. "But you didn't mean it."

   "I didn't have a choice."

   Kaden looked surprised by my words, but pulled me into a hug. "Call me later."

   I nodded and watched as he went around the car and got in. Rylee waved frantically as the car drove out of my sight. I waited another minute before going back towards the house, knowing that Finn was there, waiting. I knew he would want more answers. I knew he cared enough about me to make sure that I was okay. And I hated that I knew I'd have to tell Finn the truth - or at least part of it.

   Everything was going to be different, I knew that for sure.