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S H I N  R Y U J I N

the next day i bumped on chaeryoung on my way to the cafeteria for lunch. the whole morning i didn't talk to anyone, not her and jeongin even though we're in the same class. avoiding jeongin is hard, that's what i thought but it was not as hard as i expected actually. it's like he knew i didn't want to talk so he avoided me as well.

i mostly spent my whole night just staring at the ceiling until i fell asleep. i thought i was gonna have a crying fit when i go home yesterday but no tears were shed. that's good, at least i didn't get puffy eyes.

seeing chaeryoung made me remember what happened yesterday. her sister just broke up with hyunjin. knowing this made me a bit worried, but like the usual chaeryoung, she noticed how i was feeling and said the perfect words as always.

" you don't have to feel bad about it " she started, catching my attention. " yes they broke up, it's unfortunate, but i don't have anything to do with that " she said then stopped walking. she put both her hands on my shoulders, looking straight at me.

" whether you're the reason it happened or it's just them, it doesn't really matter. you're my friend and no matter what, you'll still be " she said then gave me a precious wink.

" well just don't betray me, snitch on me or something " she quickly added making the both of us laugh.

we made our way to the cafeteria and went straight to our usual table. as we slowly and slowly get near it, i start to feel nervous. what should i do?

i mean we already ended things so i guess acting like how i used to be, before all this mess, is the best choice. i let out a breath and readied myself. but when we stopped in front of the table the others aren't there, it's only yuna.

she has her face buried on her crossed arms on top of the table and a loud sigh was heard from her.

" yuna? where's everyone? " chaeryoung speak up. hearing this, yuna immediately raised her head. her eyebrows are furrowed and she is pouting.

" yeji eonni and jisu eonni aren't here yet but the boys- " she paused for a moment then stared at somewhere. instinctively, both chaeryoung and i followed her gaze to see what she's looking at. " they said starting today, they'll be sitting on a different table " yuna finally finished and let out a sigh once again.

right there, the three of us stared at a certain table a few tables away from us where jisung, felix, seungmin with serim, hyunjin and jeongin are sitting. i saw on my peripheral view, chaeryoung turned to yuna with furrowed eyebrows.

" what? why would they? " she asked.

i continued staring at that spot, staring at a specific person. is this why he's avoiding me too? is this because of me? are they separating themselves from us because of me? is it because of the mess and drama i caused? my friends... this can't be done too.

" they sa- wah eonni! where are you going? "

i started making my way towards that table. yuna and chaeryoung called my name but i didn't look back and just continued walking towards them. no, this can't be. we can still talk this through right? we're all friends since we're kids, we can't- it's all because of me! what have i done?

i can't lose him too. he's my pillar. what would i be without him? i'd end up being a stray without him and his mom remarks.

when i reached the table i stopped by jeongin's side. he looked up at me, all of them did but i only stared at him.

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