Exchange year

62.

"I can't believe that someone would do that to you. You are so loving and caring and deeply just amazing. If I ever meet him I will seriously cut off his balls and trample on his face and nothing could stop me" Sara says as we walk down to the next class. Maths... Never been good at that. "No need to do that, because you are never gonna meet him. I have deleted all contact with him. Moreover, my friends and I have beaten him, up to several times, actually" I laugh. "I just can't believe it... He is an asshole" She says and makes an angry face. I can't hold in my laugh. She looks so cute when she's mad.
"I agree on that, but I'm not really worried about him. I'm just worried about, what if Hero would have done the same? I couldn't sleep last night because I kept thinking about it... Do you think he could think of doing that?" I ask and look at Sara. I can see she is thinking about what I just asked her. Maybe he would and I have just been too busy admiring him and loving him to see what he was trying to do? Maybe it was part of a plan? But why? Why? I told him about what had happened. Why would he want to do it to me, when I already have gone through it once?
"I don't think he would have done it" Huh what? She doesn't? "You don't think so? Why? Has he said anything to you? Maybe he's just lying..."
I say out of breath. "Chill Ella, you can't conclude anything from what he has done in the past. As the others also said, he has changed since he met you. You can see it on him, he loves you. And if you love someone you would never try to hurt them, right? Don't judge him by what he has done in the past, I know that what he has done is not right... I know that you have gone through the same as the girls he has done it towards, but he hasn't done it to you. Right? Because he loves you... Think about it like this... He was searching for something, someone, all those years where he was with all those girls. He was searching for you, and now that he has found it, why would he destroy it? Right?" She says.
I stop walking and look at her. Wow, I hadn't thought about it like that. She is always so wise, it's crazy how she does it... But she's right, all that time he was waiting and searching for that one person that could change him. He was searching for me, I am the one who's supposed to change him. Make him a better person. Me.
"You have to stop avoiding him, Ella. Go talk to him. Tell him what you have been told. The solution to every problem is not to avoid the other person, it is to confront the person and talk to them. So go talk to him after school" Sara says and starts walking again. I quickly follow her. She's right, I need to talk to him. I haven't answered any of his texts or calls in the last 24 hours. But he seems worried in his texts. He kept asking if I was okay and asking why I didn't answer him if he had done something wrong... It is childish of me not to answer him.
"You are right, I write to him when we get to class" "I know I'm right, I'm always right" we both start laughing. "Thank you," I say. "For?" "For making me realise that I can't just ignore him. I have to talk to him about it. You can't be in a relationship if you can't talk to each other about the things that bother you... I just guess it has been so long since I last was in a relationship that I forgot how it works and that you have to work together to make it work" I say as we reach the class. "Yes, you two have to work together, else is never gonna end well," She says.
We quickly found a seat beside each other. "There is still a couple of minutes until class starts, go answer him," Sara says. I nod. My hands are shaking as I take my phone out of my pocket. Why am I so nervous? It's just a message, it's not a declaration of war... Chill Ella. I open my phone and quickly find Heros number on my phone, he has sent a new text since I last checked my phone.

'Ella please, you make me really worried. Please text me back - Hero'

I take a deep breath and start writing.

'Hey, Hero. Sorry I didn't answer you. I got some pretty shocking news yesterday and I just needed some time to progress it. I wonder if you have time to talk later today, after school? - Ella'

I quickly press send before I regret it. I breathe a sigh of relief. "Did you do it?" Sara asks. I looked around the class,  I had forgotten for a second where I was. "Yeah, I did it," I say as my phone beeps. That was quick.

'Thank God you are alive! Yes of course, did I do something wrong? Where and when do you wanna meet?'

Where do I want to meet? I don't really feel like being at his place, not before I have talked to him at least. A public place? Probably the best, then I can't try on anything. The park we were with his friends and the girls? 

'Meet me at the entrance to the park at three o'clock

I quickly send the message as the teacher enters. "Where are you guys gonna meet?" Sara asks. "At the park at three o'clock" "Alright" I quickly look at my phone one last time before I put it away. He has just answered with an

'Okay'

"Call me if you need anything or if he is doing or saying anything. And call me when you guys have talked. Promise that you will call me if you need me. I will kill him if he does anything. I will literally rip off his broken arm"
Sara says as we stand outside of the school, it is a quarter to three so I have to get going.
"I promise you, but I really have to get going if I have to be there on time" "He can wait... Promise me that you'll call. I'm serious Ella" "I promise okay, now bye Sara. I love you" I say as I hug her one last time. "Bye baby. Love you too" she says as I wave at her.
As soon as I reach the corner of a building so she can't see me anymore I breathe out. I'm so nervous, like really nervous. I don't understand why... Or I do understand why, it's not that I'm nervous to see Hero. I'm just nervous about what he's gonna say if he's gonna deny it, or come up with a stupid excuse or something else... I know it's stupid but I just really wanna know if he intended to do it to me too. But of course, he would never tell me if that was his intention, im not stupid, but I hope to get some kind of sign. Something that tells me that was or wasn't going to do it. But I don't know if I will find one or if it only happens in movies. For one could I live in a movie? Just for a moment. I'll just have to wait and see.

The time is 10 minutes past three and Hero still isn't here. Wtf it was him who was so eager after seeing me and wanted to know if I was okay. And then he doesn't even show up. Asshol. Maybe the girls have talked to him and told him about what they said and he doesn't know what to say or how to handle it so he thinks it's easier just to stay away and ignore me... Because if that's what he thinks then I couldn't agree more, or at least for a couple of hours ago I couldn't agree more, but Sara has convinced me that it's best for me to talk to him... I should never have texted him. Now I just look stupid... Maybe he's just running late, I don't know if he's taking the bus or if Felix is driving him. Something could have happened to him. Because why wouldn't he meet up, when it was him who was so worried that something had happened to me. Maybe they've driven wrong and ended up in an accident. No no don't say that, don't paint the devil on the wall...
It is half-past three. Okay, he's probably not showing up. He is an idiot and I'm never talking to him again. Not before explains what's going on and tells me why he didn't show up. He could at least have called me and told me that he wasn't gonna come, this is just childish... Why is he not coming? What have I done? Has something happened to him? He hasn't answered my calls or my texts. Is he okay?
It is four o'clock. I should just leave. I don't understand why I'm still waiting. But I don't wanna go back to school, I just think I'll start crying if I have to tell them that he never showed up. I have already been crying several times within the last hour. I don't think I can handle all the questions. Maybe I should just go for a walk around the city, that will probably help.
I stand up from the bench that I have been sitting on for the last hour and start walking out of the park. I have to walk a bit to get into the centre where there are stores and cafes. I go into different stores and look at clothes and other stuff, but nothing too special that I feel like I want to spend my money on.
It's six o'clock, Hero still hasn't answered me. He is a dickhead and not worth all my tears. I can easily find another boy who wouldn't ignore me and treat me like this... For the first time ever I feel like drinking all my sorrows away. Like really. I haven't been drunk in five years, I need it. I need it now. To forget him. I need to forget him.
I walk down a street and see a nice looking pub, I quickly go inside. There aren't a lot of people, probably because it's Monday. I look around and quickly spot a familiar face. I walk over to him and dot him on the shoulder. He turns around "Hey Ella," he says surprised. "Hello Jacob, can I join you guys?"