Exchange year

40.

Sara has joined me and we are both laying on the blanket looking up at the sky. She is laying with her head on my stomach. "That one looks like an elephant," I say and point up at a little cloud. Sara turns her head trying to see the elephant. "Oh, now I see it. The trunk, the ears and the body. I see" She says and points at the cloud. "Exactly" "That one looks like a big dragon, the one from Shrek." She says. I start laughing. "The one from Shrek. Really?" "Yeah can't you see it? You do have eyes, right? or have you forgotten them somewhere?" She says and looks at me. I look down at her and squeeze my eyes together. "I'm sorry, who are you? I can't see you? Where are you?" I fumble around with my arms and start to tickle her. She starts laughing. She quickly gets up and sits on my stomach with a leg on each side. She starts tickling me. Why is everyone trying to tickle me? Is no one listening when I say I'm not ticklish? She looks at me. "Shit," She says, and quickly have I turn us around so I am sitting on top of her. I start tickling her. She keeps laughing. "Alright.. alright. Stop.." She keeps laughing. "Say sorry," I say and dot her on the nose and tickle her again. "Alright... I'm Sorry" She whisper. "What did you say? I couldn't hear you" I say and keep tickling her. "I'M SORRY," She said, and I stopped tickling her. I move away from her stomach and lay down on the blanket with my head on her stomach this time. "Did we miss the fight?" Someone says. We both quickly sit up, and there he stands. Hero, Felix and the others are standing right in front of us. Oh no, did they see me and Sara. Damit. I start blushing and look down at my hands. "There was no fight Felix. There is only fun, around here" Kath says. "Well, whatever it was, it looked naughty," He answers. What!? I quickly look up at him, then Hero. His head is red-hot. He slaps Felix on the back of his head. "What?" He says and looks at Hero. "I'm just telling the truth. Bro, come on" Hero just shakes his head and walks over to us and sits down beside me. The butterflies are out of their cage. "Hello," he says. "Hey," I say. "I have brought a sweater for you but I don't know if you want it now, because it is still pretty warm," He says. "Thank you so much, if I just can get it later would it be great," I say and send him a smile. "Yes of course" "Come on bro, let's go play.  Who wanna join?" Felix says as he stands juggling with a football. right beside Hero, I quickly move a bit. Not me, that's for sure. Hero looks at me questioningly. I just look away. Everyone gets up except me, as expected. "Don't you wanna join?" asked Sara. "Oh no, no thank you. I'll just stay here looking after the things' ' I say and pat the blanket. "Well alright, we'll be back soon" "Yeah, go have fun!" I send her the biggest smile. Then I can try to get some colour on my pale skin. I grab my back and use it as a pillow. I lie down on the blanket and look up at the clouds. "Why aren't you coming?" Someone asks, or to be more specific, Hero asks. "Ball games are not exactly 'my thing''" I say and lay on my elbows. "Well, why not? You promised that you would see me play" "Yeah, a real game, not just some game with your friends." He sits down next to me. "Well, that's right. But then why don't you wanna play?" He looks at me. I look at a couple further ahead. "I'm not the biggest fan of balls" "What, why not? They are fun" He says, and grabs another football with his feeds. I move away from him. "You really mean it" "Yes of course I mean it. I should just invent something so stupid? I don't think so." He looks at me in shock
"I'm sorry, I didn't know. It's not stupid.." "Oh cut the crap, I know how stupid it is. You don't need to act sweet or understanding, cause you don't understand and that's totally okay. No one understands because it's such a weird thing to be scared of. But I am. I am scared of balls, alright" I keep looking at the happy couple. I want that. I quickly look up at Hero and I can see that he is looking at the same couple. Do we both want that? "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that, It's just. No one really understands or at least tries to understand when I say that I'm scared of balls" I say. I look at the happy couple again. The guy gives the girl a kiss on her head and she hugs him. I smile. They look sweet together. I look around the park, and it's filled with couples. All kind of couples. I wanna be a part of that secret club that they are a part of. "It's okay, I understand that you got frustrated because I had to ask why you were scared of balls instead of just accepting it. I just guess that when you hear something that you aren't used to hearing you wanna have an explanation on why it is like that. You know?" He says. I look at him "I guess so.." he grabs me shoulder and hugs me. I quickly get up and hug him back. I place my cheek on his shoulder. He is warm. His perfume really is good. I take a deep breath. It's fresh but sweet at the same time. "With perfume do you use?" I let go of him and look at him. "One from a brand called Salvatore Ferragamo" he strokes my hair away from my face. "I don't know that brand, but it smells good," I say and place my head on his chest. He leans back so we both are laying down. "I'm glad you like it". Place my arm on his chest and grab the collar of his t-shirt. He places his hand on top of mine. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of lying with him. I can hear the sound of his heart. I like this. Laying with Hero like this, feeling him, hearing him, smelling him. I use all my senses when I'm together with him. I love this, I never want this to end. I keep saying that I don't want it to end, but I mean it when I say that I don't want it to end. I want to be here forever. Him and I together, even if it's just as friends, I want him in my life forever. I want him to trust me, and I wanna trust him. I want him to be the person that I can go to if I'm sad or if I have a problem. I hope he wants to be that person. He strokes my hand. The sun begins to set and I get goosebumps on my arms. "Are you freezing?" He asks and looks at me. "Not so much, just a bit," I say. "Do you want the sweater?" He says and sits up, he grabs his back and opens it. A bright purple sweater shows up. "Okay, who did you steal this from?" I say and pulls the sweater out of his bag. "My closet," he says. Yeah sure. "No, like for real who is this?" I say and swing the sweater in front of his face. "I'm telling you, it's mine" he must be joking. "Who are you and what have you done with Hero?" I say and point at him. I look serious at him but he just starts laughing. He grabs my index finger with his and pulls my hand down. "I am Hero. The sweet, charming and handsome young man that YOU, my dear, is falling for," he says. My mouth must be wide open. Did he just say that? Did he really just say that? He places his hand on my chin and closes my mouth. He looks me in the eyes, he moves his hand up to my cheek, he slowly strokes my cheek with his thumb. With his other hand, he grabs my waist and pulls me closer to him. He then holds my hand. His hand is so big, just like the rest of him. NOPE, not what I meant. His head moves closer to mine. Is he trying to kiss me? Here? What, we can't do that. The others can come whenever it should be. "We can't" I whisper when he's only a few inches away. He moves a bit away. "Why not?" He asks. And raises his eyebrows. "There are people around here, and the others can come back whenever it should be" he moves completely away from me. "You don't want them to see us together?" He says, he sounds irritated. What's wrong? "Yes of course, but I just don't want them to think that I'm some kind of whore or something. We have only known each other for one week. I don't even know you. I want to get to know you before I.. we make something official. But it's okay if that's not what you want. I understand if you don't wanna wait"