A Cold Day in Texas

The "Soccer Team"

"Lance, we have to do it. We have to do The Boning Time."

"I know, my team told me as well. Apparently our feelings are causing problems for everyone else."

"So we are agreed? We finally let our feelings out of their cages of repression they have been caged in all this time?"

"Yes. For the team"

"No...for us"

Lance leaped on me at that moment. The raging hormones ???? They were locked up and finally unleashed.

Lance and I quickly became a ball of body-parts and blood. Hands, buttocks and torsos all tangled together. Lance didn't know what bit to focus on, so he grabbed a spare fun stick and dived in.

What the actual fuck did this website generate....

"More! More! More!" whispered Lance to me.

Their love making was like a sunrise of vaginas. It's like they were everywhere - inescapable (not that either of them wanted to escape them).

Things got...messy...from that point on

Nearby the others occasionally heard various bodily function noises. But politely ignored it.

This had been coming far too long to ruin it now - and this team bonding was very much needed.

Once we got there we found our worst fears had already come to pass;

The FBI was already there. FBI petrol's were all over the city, searching in every cave network and tower.

"They are looking for them !" said Pidge.

"We have to beat them too!"

We began sneakily and stealthy running around the city. Unlike the FBI, we had more information about where to look.

After torturing some thugs for information with Lance's help we found it before them.

"There it is! At least!" I said, pointing to the [REDACTED] hidden by a weird palace.

"So it is" said Allura, suddenly grinning.

"I guess then this charade is over!"

Lance pulled off his mask and suddenly his face was Shiro's!

I stood gobsmacked in the face.

"Yes, that's right Keith & team, it was me all along I, Lance was Shiro the whole time!" The newly revealed Shiro cried out, before leading the team to an unsuspecting Honda Civic, unlocking it and revealing Lance, tied up inside! 

I ran over to his man, untying him and holding him in my arms.

"I don't understand," said Keith. "Why?"

"That's easy. I knew I could never find them without your help, and I knew you would never help me. So I became CEO of the Boy's Soccer Team, and employed Shiro. After that it was simply a matter of earning your respect, creating a threat and waiting for you to call Shiro"

"Creating a threat? You mean FBI? "

"Yes, that's right! The FBI is just a bunch of actors I hired. It was all a elaborate set up to make you lead me to the [REDACTED]"

"Gosh, how could we have been so foolish," said Pidge..

I was frozen still. My life had been a lie. I had believed in the Boy's Soccer Team. Believed in what it stood for. Believed in the good work we had done. But it was a lie. It was all a front. It was all Shiro all along.

I pressed through the pain though. Maybe Boy's Soccer Team was a lie, but that didn't mean what its cause was meaningless. It didn't mean I had to surrender, to give up..

"No. I fight for the Boy's Soccer Team and I will never give up. Regardless of you.."Lance" " (I said that last part sarcastically).

"That's right," said Hunk. "You might have fooled us. Made our lives a lie and stood in front of our nose the whole time, but you can never take away our spirit"

"you foolish fools. You are already defeated" said Shiro. "I had a whole army at my command!"

Just then we were surrounded.

We were about to give up again when I remembered something.

"You can't fool us again Shiro! These people are just actors!"

With that me and Lance started punching and kicking them, using our Gay when needed.

As they were actors they were easy to take out, leaving just Lance surrounded by a pool of blood.

"Nooooo...my fake army....You killed them all!"

"And now it's time for you!"

In perfect syncro-heroism me and Lance leapt at Shiro, pulling off a massive Gay karate-chop combo.

"Arg..." said Shiro as he ran towards the [REDACTED].

But we did it again and again till he was dead. He was just a few meters from the [REDACTED], it had been a close call.

"We won...but now what?" said Lance.

I looked around at our devastated lives.

"Only one choice. We rebuild Boy's Soccer Team and repair the years of damage it was secretly doing to this world...or kiss ;)"

The....Beginning