Between Bloods

Chapter 29: Three Months Since (94 days)

She rounds the corner of our front display, no Ava in sight behind her.

"Ava act okay?" I don't know why I ask this instead of the logical question: Did you take Ava with you? Maybe it's because I don't want to panic, not her nor me, but I ask this question just like that.

And I don't like the response.

"No, I left her here with you," Charlotte replies. She was in the middle of removing her large jacket, but now she stops mid motion and slips it back on her shoulders. Immediately, her demeanor changes. Her slouching posture stands tall, and her usually smiling lips slink back into a scowl, a permanent one that eyes me. "She's probably in the back," Charlotte offers, her tone more serious than she intends it to be. I can tell she wants to believe it, that every inch of her body wills for Ava to be in the back. This is one of those moments where our shared genes peek through – both trying to stay calm, to act normal, to avoid any conflict.

"It's just Freddie back there," I reply, breathless. Becca, who has finished helping the customer, comes to stand beside me. Somehow we all manage to tell the man exiting to enjoy his night. We are already hating ours.

Charlotte looks at Becca with wide eyes, zoned in like a hawk. She is checking for a second opinion on my answer, begging for me to be wrong. But Becca's head nod is the final straw, the last verdict—she has checked the back, the closets, the front, everywhere. This is what she has been doing since the last of our large crowd left and Carl came to ask if Ava wanted a snack. When I replied that I thought she had been in the back with him, Carl shook his head in a grave manner, then went back to tending to a whining Freddie. It was Becca who scoured every inch, and it's her who can confirm our worst fears.

My stomach drops to the depths of the earth, to the very core where it burns and churns, ready to spew out of my mouth like fire.

We've lost Ava. I've lost Ava.

"What the hell, Noreen? I told you to keep an eye on her! How could you let her just walk out the door?" Charlotte's tone is cutting. She is terrified. My sister is never terrified.

I suck in a deep breath, accepting the nagging from her with a deep shame. But now is not the time to pity my horrid babysitting skills, now is not the time to remind her that I begged her to stay home with the kids instead of bringing them in on the busiest day of the year, when more people would walk through our store than Disneyland. "Okay, let's not panic. She couldn't have gone far. She's three."

"I think you're panicking," whispers Becca. She reaches out with her arms and holds my own. I didn't notice until now that they have been shaking uncontrollably.

"What if someone took her?" spits Charlotte. She is walking around the store, checking every corner she can. She can't get it through her head - we have already checked all of these places. The only place left to check is outside, all the streets and alleys and parks that surround our large London neighborhood. We only have to check all of London. By now, the sky has descended to a darkening dusty blue. There is still enough light to see, but streetlamps have jumped on, alerting the darkness that night is upon us.

Charlotte, now realizing that we were honest about Ava not being in here, goes to step outside the store. I follow quickly, rounding the corner with high speed and catching her just as she's moving down the pavement, beginning to swerve in the crowd.

"Where are you going?" I yell after her.

"To find my daughter," she replies, sending me a glare and continually heading down the street.

My hands are sweaty, and I can't find it in my heart to go after her. She is too emotional, running down streets with no clue where they lead. Does she even remember what Ava was last wearing? Where she might go? Who she might have seen and ran after? I stay behind, watching Charlotte disappear from inside the window. Though my sister is more skilled and well-liked, in general, than me, I do have one advantage: the ability to stay calm in a hectic situation, to maintain control (most of the time - unless someone rises from the dead or a psychopath is after me). But a missing kid? I've watched too many serial killer documentaries to not know what to do. This is like an equation, a step-by-step process to reach a desired conclusion.