A Promise (An Attack on Titan Fanfic: Erwin Smith)

Orders

For a few seconds, Armin was silent. He pressed a hand to his temple, feeling the bandages around his head. He had incurred the injury earlier during his encounter with the female titan. The same female titan.. whose identity was slowly becoming clearer to him. 

"No. The Commander wasn't wrong."

A confused brow twitched on Jean's face. "Huh? What wasn't wrong? Didn't you hear me, Armin? More people would have survived if the Commander told more about the plan!"

Armin lowered his hand and turned to him. "Jean. Everyone can make a choice after they've learned what it will result in. It's so easy to say 'we should have done it this way' afterwards." He briefly paused, chewing the inside of his lips. "But... you can't know what your choice will result in before actually choosing."

The more Armin thought about it, the more he realized how Erwin was in the right when he chose to only limit the soldiers who should be aware of their plan. There were still so many questions unanswered, so many factors—both known and unknown factors—and they had to formulate the plan while keeping their guards high up in the case of any eavesdropping ears. They enacted this operation knowing the consequences. 

"The veterans.. and the Commander.. they were left with no choice. They didn't know anything, but the time keeps moving. It won't stop to let them acquire the information they needed. So they had to make a choice."

He looked at Jean in the eye. 

"The Commander may be a heartless person for what he did, but that's just fine by me. I'm sure he considered every possible factor.. and he had to choose: the lives of one hundred of his comrades, or the lives of all of humanity living inside the walls. And.. he chose to throw away the lives of a hundred of his comrades."

As the silence trickled in to fill the gap of their conversation, Armin thought about the operation to retake Wall Maria four years ago, the same mission that took away the lives of more than a hundred thousand refugees, including his grandfather. 

He thought about Commander Pixis, the General-in-chief Zackly, Commander Erwin—and all the other high figures in the military.

Tell me.. how do you kill a monster without becoming one?

"I haven't lived long enough," he continued, "but there's something I firmly believe in. The people who have the ability to change something in this world, all of them.. have the guts to abandon things important to them if they have to. They are those who can even abandon their humanity to outdo literal monsters."

And even Isanna-san.. had no choice back then. 

All those high figures had to make the sacrifice four years ago. Just as how Erwin chose to sacrifice a hundred of his comrades in this operation, all the military heads also chose to abandon twenty percent of humanity back then for the remaining population. 

Armin balled his fists at his side, a twisting gut in his stomach at the thought of his grandfather being just 'one of the sacrifices' that had to be made. This was the hard part of being the bigger person; even if you're hurt, you still try to understand. I'm sorry, grandpa. 

And in that moment, Armin understood. He understood why Erwin Smith was appointed to be the leader of the Survey Corps.

Because he had the courage to make choices nobody else could ever dare to make. 

"People who can't throw away something important.. can never hope to achieve anything."

•

Isanna wanted to release a sigh of relief, but she couldn't afford to lower her guard just yet; she knew their mission was far from over.

Hearing the zipping sounds of a 3DMG wire hooking, she glanced and saw Levi swiftly landing on the tree branch beside Erwin. She latched a hook to the same branch and landed on the blond's other side as the three of them peered down at the bounded titan that had both hands wrapped around the back of her neck, shielding her weak spot.