I don't wanna hurt you ( Bucky x Hydra experiment reader)

chapter 7

Words: 1584
Warnings: swearing
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You quietly groaned as your eyes fluttered open. There was a hard pounding in your head and your whole body was aching and burning. You slowly lifted your wrist only to be stopped by some chains. You quickly raised your head from the bed you were lying in, trying desperately to get off it. Your arms and legs had been strapped onto the floor and you were dressed in your black sports bra and your matching black shorts.

You started panicking, not remembering how you’d gotten here and what was going to happen. Flashbacks of old memories as a kid in HYDRA flooded your mind, drowning your every other thought. As a kid, you would often wake up in a room just like this. Handlers coming in the room and torturing you in all sorts of ways.

You whimpered quietly while you tried to get up from the bed, your whole body aching. You slowly stood up, the chains on your wrists starting to dig deep into your skin. You felt slightly lightheaded but you kept blinking it off, not trusting your surroundings. Your knees buckled and you crashed on the ground with a thud.

You were panting on the floor, slowly moving into a sitting position against the metal leg of your bed. You breathed heavily, trying not to fall unconscious.

After a while, your body started shaking violently. It had already happened at HYDRA after your body had gone through too much for it to handle which meant days of training non-stop.

It was very inconvenient because this was the most vulnerable position you had ever found yourself in and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. You lied down on the floor rocking yourself at a slow pace to stop yourself from shaking even more. Your breaths became uneven and you didn’t know how to stop.

After what seemed like hours of shaking the bolted door flew open and three men with white lab coats walked in, each carrying silver cases in their hands. You had horrible memories with scientists. Doctors had always taken their anger out on you, torturing you after you fell unconscious several times in a row, pushing your body over the edge after a brainwash, just because I couldn’t fight back.

You eyed them very closely, still shaking violently, while they came closer to you. Without saying a word they started taking out their shiny suitcases, long needles. You shook your head, trying desperately to back away from them. One of them grabbed your ankles, trying to stop you from shaking and another one grabbed the chain that was tied to your wrist, tugging at it harshly. You winced in pain “No” you whimpered, while another man had wrapped his hand around your throat. “ Please.” you whispered desperately, fighting against the man’s pull. “No…… no……. please…… no…… please…...stop” you begged, a tear falling from your eye. “Stop.” you whimper, not having enough energy to fight back.

The scientist was about to take a blood sample from you when a loud voice spoke. You were too busy being choked by one of the doctors to actually hear it but the doctor froze in his spot. “Hey dumb ass you heard her. Back off.” the male voice shouted. Two of the doctors immediately got up but the one choking you still kept his tight grip on your neck. “ You really sure you wanna do that? Huh?”: The man swallowed slowly and stood up, they grabbed their things and left the room in a hurry.

You breathed in quickly, your lungs finally getting fresh air. You coughed loudly and rubbed your hands on your wrists, trying to ease the pain. A tall man walked into the room after they were all gone. A tall man that you immediately recognized: James.  You crawled as far away as your body and chains let you, trying to gain control over your body again.

He slowly walked towards you with his hands raised, showing that he wasn’t armed although you weren’t gonna fall for that trap again.

You closed your eyes, concentrating on your uneven breaths. After a few seconds you opened your eyes again, only to find yourself in a small room, surrounded by tall, black walls. You finally felt at peace, your body no longer aching, no more shaking. You felt your body completely freeze (idk it's like a coma but you’re in a different place its like your inside your mind. Idek if it makes sense. Stranger things for reference.) You calmed your panted breaths and regained your brain’s control.

You woke up with a jolt. James' face was covered with a confused look. “What have you done?” you snarled. “Listen, I know what you’ve been through but-” he answered calmly, but you quickly interrupted him, scoffing at his words. “ Boy, you have no fucking clue.” you mumbled. “Listen Y/n you may not know who I am because they never made us meet. They were too afraid. We would have been unstoppable together” he replied, closing his eyes as if he was trying to forget something. “ Uh uh. Sure. I’ll take that.” you answered back, not wanting to piss him off because this was the longest conversation you had ever held with someone and you were dying to see where it was going to end. “If you’re going to hurt me, could you please use one of the first 12 methods, I’m really tired of counting new ways to torture me after 1682.” you whispered knowing that HYDRA handlers couldn’t care less but what you didn’t know was that with Bucky’s super-hearing he had heard every single word and his heart broke.

As the Winter Soldier he had heard so much about you. They constantly compared her to him which amazed him greatly, he had heard that she was unbeatable, unpredictable and impossibly well trained. No one survived your missions. Ever. He had also found out that HYDRA’s men took pleasure from touting her, brain washing her and training her for hours non stop until she would faint 6 / 7 times. They forced her to go unconscious to take advantage of her. He was absolutely disgusted.

He had been through a lot and getting out of that infinite hole had been extremely hard but you had been through way more and for a longer period of time, getting out of it alive was going to be a hard challenge.

“What do you mean?” he questioned gruffly, determined to not show too many emotions, knowing you were able to manipulate any living thing. You didn’t say anything back, scared for your own safety, knowing too well a harsh beating would be coming soon. “You are going to stay here,” he announces. “And I’m going to help you.” You looked at him with wide eyes. Sometimes the moment in which after 20 years you were finally going to be free. Finally eat a full meal, walk outside, drink water without having to worry if its poisoned or not. That thought had ran across your mind a few times, briefly though before being cut off and silenced by brainwashing.

You scoffed silently “Yeah sure why would you wanna do that huh? Why would you wanna help a fucked up, high-skilled assassin like me?"You looked straight into his steel blue eyes. “ Because why not? I mean we’re all messed up here. What difference will one more fucked up person make?” He answered back, offering his hand out to you to help you stand.

You quickly stood up but lost your balance so you ended up putting your whole weight on the nearest wall. “What did you put in me?” you whispered, more to yourself rather than him. “It's to help you with all the drugs they fed you. It's supposed to bring back your strength.” He shrugged. “This burns like hell.” you whimpered, stretching your numb legs. You wiggled your wrists, showing him the chains you were still tied to. He nodded and the chains crumbled to the ground. You both made your way out of the room  and found yourself walking across an empty corridor. “What's up with everything?” you questioned, not understanding why the corridor was so homey-looking. “Oh, don’t worry we just thought you’d wanna be with someone you trust at first and… um I guess as I’ve been in a similar situation, I wanted to help you too”. He answered calmly. You looked at him deeply “I guess they’re all fucking terrified of me aren't they?” He didn’t answer you. “Well I wouldn’t blame them” you mumble under your breath. “And um what makes you think I trust you?” You question with a cold stare. “Why aren’t you scared of me?” you questioned quietly.

The man walking beside you was different. His way of thinking amazed you. It was different. He didn’t see you as a poor captured girl, a very mentally unstable woman with a very insane mind. Not a girl with severe PTSD and anxiety nor a highly trained assassin with no backstory except HYDRA.

“Nothing scares me anymore. Besides I don’t see why I should be afraid of you:” He answered slowly, a small smirk making its way on your face.

"We'll see about the trust thing dude"

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I am truly so sorry that I've kept you waiting for so long. A lot has happened and I really couldn't keep on writing. I've missed it tho lol. I hope this makes up for it. This wasn't exactly what I was going for but I don't really hate it so I'll just go with the flow and idk we'll see. Oh and if you have any suggestion for what could happen please don't hesitate to text me!!!

Elle