A Plus In Love

*DOMESTIC PARTNERS*

Johnny tried to protest for what I’m sure was the hundredth time. But my father had made up his mind. 

    Johnny came to visit every day for a week and a half. His mother was still the same. Alive, but mostly dead, was the way he said it to me. Sometimes we would talk about nothing. Sometimes we would both cry, sometimes we were quite while we held each other. In between the sometimes we talked about what it might be like after all this. To feel normal,or at least kind of again. To feel settled. 

We had been talking about going home for a few days in my doctor visits. This might be the day. My mother was the one at my appointment. The doctor just went over my chart and noted all my challenges and changes. He sighed a piece of paper and I went to pack my room. Less than ten minutes later I walked through the door outside to put my bags in the trunk. But my mother didn’t get in the car. 

    “I know you wanted to get cleaned up to go see Laura but, he need to go in now” I walked at a fast pace back into the elevators. I jogged to the ICU, but a nurse stopped me. I had gone past my mother

    “Im sorry I can only admit family. I haven’t seen you before. Who do you belong to?” Dammit. Johnny saw me after I caused a ruckus. 

    “She’s my wife. She belongs to me.” The nurse rolled her eyes but let me go through. I expected to hug Johnny, but he tipped my head back and kissed me. He kissed me like we were together and he hadn’t seen me in years. Before I could say anything, we were in Laura’s room. I immediately wanted to cry. She was already gone. They had taken all the tubes and lines out of her. A nurse had taken care of her and she looked asleep.  Very thin, pale and asleep. 

    “Oh Johnny, I”m so sorry.”  He pulled me into his body and his arms tightened around my waist. He squeezed so hard it actually hurt. But I couldn’t say anything. His mother had just died. His breath was rapid and hot. My lungs burned from holding my breath. An acid sigh leaked out. “It’s fucked up and nobody can tell you why. I’m sorry” 

    “I need you.” His voice cracked and my heart split. 

    “It’s ok, Johnny. I''m always here, ok.” A slight knock on the door caused him to jerk. An older woman came in. Johnny went rigid as soon as he saw her. She was an older woman with kind eyes that seemed tired.  She didn’t seem particularly happy to be here, even so. 

    “I’m so sorry to have to do this so soon, but we are going to need to move Ms. Johnson. That means we need to determine what will happen with Ruby. “ My mother opened her mouth. “I have already submitted paperwork for temporary placement with Mr and Mrs Beaumont. However that has not been approved, so we have to place Ruby with family or existing foster families.” 

    “I’m eighteen, I’m legally an adult. I’m her family, she belongs with me.” Johnny sounded angry.  He stepped in front of me, blocking the way between the door and Ruby. “I have a job, I can make it work.”  The women sighed. 

    “Johnny, we have been over this. You are eighteen, however, you are still in high school. You are single and you have no other family to help you raise a child.” She laid a hand on his arm. “ I don’t want to separate you two, but I have to do what is best for Ruby'' He yanked his arm away. 

    “What's best is for her to be with me!” I touched his face, it was warm to the touch, flushed with his emotion. Panic, fear, confusion. His hands squeezed my waist.

    “Hey, Hey. Listen, listen. Lets ask some questions.” I turned away from him to the women. 

    “How is it possible for us to keep Ruby? How does Johnny get to keep her?” She went through her papers for a moment then seemed to take a moment to think about it. 

    “Technically Johnny can petition for Ruby, as he is family, I’m just saying chances are low. Anything that makes his life more stable and conducive to a happy and healthy life for Ruby, makes him look more appealing for placement.” She handed me a few papers. “Listen, for tonight you guys can take her. I’ll call you in the morning.” I wasn't sure what to do. Johnny just pulled me into him and we followed my parents out to the car. Ruby’s car seat was between us. She was tired and fell asleep with each of us holding hands.there wasn’t much talking, we all were processing  

Johnny took my hand late in the evening and we went walking around the small park across the street. The place was empty and after swinging and some well deserved laughs, we sat on a bench. He curled into my side. I kissed his head and stroked his hair. I felt him take a deep breath.

“Lil, you know I love you. I know you love me and Ruby. I can’t lose her.” He grabbed my face and kissed me softly, touching our foreheads together. “Will you Marry Me?”