Carmela + Amos

Chapter 19 - Amos

It was late in the night as Amos sat upright on his childhood bed, turning the pages of Carmela's journal. His stomach was in knots reading her words. She needed to leave with Ben and never look back at Rodrigo, just like he did with Lorena. In the weeks since their breakup, she called several times, wanting to meet, and work out their differences, but he had no desire to.

Maybe one day, when the sting of her betrayal didn't make him so angry, he would tolerate seeing her again, but for the time being, he was keeping his distance.

A yawn escaped Amos's mouth, contorting his face as he stretched and flattened himself on the bed. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, it was past midnight, and despite being tired, he needed to know if Carmela would go through with leaving Rodrigo for Ben. So he continued reading.

Dear Diary,

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do. There are certain times in my life where I've felt every ounce of my heart torn apart by emotional claws, digging and raking it to shreds. Whether it's an indefinite goodbye, walking away from someone you love, or them walking away from you-the pain lingers, like a stain of red wine, marking you forever. Saying goodbye to my family that fateful day was a pain I'll never forget.

However, the departure that still causes a deep pang in my heart is when Ben said goodbye to me.

It was a month after the tour ended and -

Amos turned the page, his eyes scanning for more, his heart pounding, but found the other side blank. He returned to the previous page and reread the words as if it would make more appear, but when he turned the page again, the other side remained blank.

"No... No, no, no." He fanned through the journal but found blank page after blank page. "No!"

The journal crumpled in his fist as he glared at it. Where was the rest? Offended by the incomplete entry, he chucked the entire thing across the room, and it landed with a thunk next to a box of vinyl records. His heart sank into his stomach, leaving his hands vacant and frigid. Why did Ben say goodbye to Carmela? What happened to them being together!?

The bedroom door creaked open, and Amos glanced up to find Carlos sticking his face through the crack.

"Dude, what the hell?" his brother asked.

"Ah, man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"What are you doing in here?" Carlos stepped inside. "Jerking off?"

"What? No!"

"Hey, man, it's ok if you are. Just keep it down. Mom is right next door."

"Carlos, I wasn't jerking off."

"Hey, that's your business, not mine. Maybe yank a little quieter."

"Carlos!"

"But remember, too much masturbation leads to blindness," he grinned but dodged when Amos chucked a pillow at him. "Easy, easy. You might need that to muffle the sounds."

"Get out." He threw another pillow.

"No need for violence."

"Out!"

"Sure, sure, I'll let you get back to blowing your load but use a little lotion or something. It makes the glide smoother."

"Carlos, I swear to God."

"God wouldn't step foot in this room of filth and sin."

"I'm going to kill you."

"Fine, fine, I'm out." The door clicked closed behind him, but seconds later, it squeaked back open. "For real, man, are you alright?"