Alphas' 𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 Vampire

21'

𝐈𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐥 𝐱 𝐀𝐳𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐮
***

I sat in the apartment alone, staring forward quietly. The bed that should've had Azriel right beside me continued to be empty.

I don't want anyone...that isn't Azriel to know I live here. There's already Archer who knows I am here, I'm not sure about anyone else. Might be two or so guards, but I'm not worried about that.

These plans...that I've arranged with Whistler are stressful, yet worth it. I continue to be stressed on having to continue this pathetic persona. Pretending to hate him for 'leaving me', when it was really everyone else all along. Even Azriel's weird father was in on it.

He just wanted to save him, but left me to rot. Not that I exactly blame him. There could've been a better way for that to have been handled though.

It still...just pisses me off.

I want Azriel.

It was only early in the morning, and I agreed to do these tasks with Whistler. Except the longer I'm alone the more it dawns on me.

I'm alone.

I used to do this for twenty years?

How did I survive like this without any mishaps or struggles? I did occasionally have sex with people and be in a relationship here and there, but it was nothing serious.

I didn't really like being in relationships because I didn't know how to be in one myself. Me being with Azriel was a natural thing...I didn't even realize how close I grew to him.

This yearning was driving me to a point of no return. I don't want to want anyone else. All I want at this moment, is him.

I have nothing to remember him by, only my memory. My memory of him as a person is spot-on. His features stick in my mind clear-as-day. How could I forget such a beautiful face?

Not to mention...he's having my child.

I found myself standing up, and I just left the apartment. I was walking out despite the fact that I could possibly look crazy doing this, but it didn't matter to me.

I left there only to find myself standing before a shop that caters to babies. My eyes settled on the displays through the window.

Saw tiny baby clothes and the little shoes. They were so tiny...the shoes. When I look closely through I could see there was someone inside tidying up the place. I wonder...if they'd think I'd look crazy standing here.

I couldn't help myself.

Those tiny shoes with the little socks were calling to me. I just wanted to hold them in my palm and stare at them. It gave me more hope thinking of such a thing.

As I go to the door I knock upon it. The sun was beginning to rise, but it was still dark out. When the worker inside looked in my direction I frown when I notice that it was Whistler.

Making me snicker, he rushes to the door as he opens the door. He looked up at me in confusion, only to look around my body and back at me.

"Are you...crazy? Why are you out this early?" He questions me quietly as if we'll wake up the whole area.

"I'm...I just miss something I can't have." I mumble, Whistler frowning. "I want those baby shoes."

I nod over at the stand, and Whistler looks on. He soon faced me again with a grin.

"Are you thinking about...him?"

"Of course I am...I can't help myself. I am slowly losing it. I can't think too much about him or be alone for too long. It'll drive me insane, so I prefer this." I end up telling him as I rush to the stand.