Alterlife ⇝ Bucky Barnes [1]

twelve.

12. | ONE YEAR LATER.

THE TAIL END OF THE SUMMER OF 1937 BROUGHT A LOT OF CHANGES TO LYDIA WILSON'S LIFE. Her father passed away close to the end of August, effectively leaving her as the last of her family. The last quarter of the year was more than difficult to say the least - Thanksgiving, Christmas, and her twentieth birthday were all occasions that she would have to face alone for the first time, and difficult wasn't even an adequate enough word to describe it. 

She'd scared her friends the first time she locked herself away. They didn't say that, of course, but she could practically feel the relief from everyone after she'd emerged the next morning for work. She supposed that they were justified in their fear, after her mom's "death" and all, but she'd never stoop that low. She was grieving, but she still had a lot of life left in her and she wouldn't tarnish her parents' memory by throwing away her life.

She learned to cope with the grief in time, not allowing it to consume her like it had so many other people in her life. She turned to painting in a sketchbook to help herself rationalize her thoughts, which was a rusty skill but still one that she kept in her back pocket. Oil painting came back to her as naturally as breathing and she put every emotion that she couldn't outwardly express into her art - it was the only way that she'd still be able to live and function as a human being. 

Lydia found other ways to keep busy, of course. The Kings often invited her over so that she didn't have to be alone for the first few months; then, Effie had announced that they were moving in together and gotten them into what felt like a luxury apartment: it had an elevator in the lobby and more than enough room for the two women. It felt wrong to leave behind her life in the shabbier part of Harlem, but another part of her liked the image that her new location gave. A brighter, shinier future awaited her if she could get out of the ghetto.

She signed up for night classes at a nursing school, too, since Effie got her coveted department store job. Their combined income was just enough to keep them afloat, but Lydia knew that she didn't want to be a waitress for the rest of her life. As much as she loved her regulars and her found family in the Kings, she knew that there was something bigger out there for her. Nursing wasn't what she really wanted to do, but being a mixed Black girl didn't present many opportunities; beggars can't be choosers, after all. 

She'd tried dating, finally, after Effie being so close to pester her from the next room down inevitably got on her damned nerves. Actually dating, too, not just a few dates and then calling it quits. Clarence Davis had given her her first kiss - among other firsts - before she spotted him buttering up another little light-skinned girl not even three blocks down from her new place. Lydia wasted no time in getting rid of him right then and there. It was no heartbreak to her - even though he'd taken her virginity - since it only lasted a few months. It had moved fast, but that was kind of the whole point to her.