Alterlife ⇝ Bucky Barnes [1]

ten.

10. | PAYING A VISIT.

AS JULY CREPT CLOSER, LYDIA FOUND HERSELF THROWN INTO A NEW PATTERN. Her day consisted of waking up, going to work from sun up to sun down, going home and repeating that cycle the next day. No socializing aside from with the other staff, the customers at work or Steve when he came in and no enjoying the sunshine. Miss Ida Mae would make her take days off at a time because of her longer work days, but she spent those cooped up in the silent apartment with the oil paints she purchased from a child selling them on the street, making messes on paper that she could hardly call art. 

Well, that was really her being harsh on herself. She hadn't painted since she was younger back in San Antonio, when her daddy brought home enough money to afford more lavish things. Her mama had encouraged the hobby; Lydia subsequently dropped it after the woman's death and now she was picking it back up on the precipice of her father's impending demise. She wasn't bad at painting by any means, but her skills had rusted over the years spent without practice. 

Today, though, she had a much different day in mind. She was no longer planning on working until her head ached from lack of rest. She was going to the hospital to see Anthony Wilson in the flesh, even against the advice of everyone around her. Tuberculosis was something to be taken seriously and she knew that. But she wasn't going to let him rot away in the hospital surrounded by nothing familiar.

So, she waited until after the lunch rush was over before she yelled out to Gumbo that she was leaving, seeing as the Kings were coming in later after their Wednesday church service got out. There were still plenty of people working, they wouldn't even notice if Lydia left. She'd become something of a pariah lately, but no one blamed her for it. The death of family was hard and she was handling it in her own, silent way.

The nineteen-year-old was practically sprinting toward the hospital once she got past the diner doors. It was easy to ignore the stares and frowns she got from other young women, the elderly, and men. She was entirely focused on getting to her destination and she had to keep her emotions in check until then. This was going to take a toll on her and someone had to keep a brave face if it wasn't going to be Anthony.

As she came upon the shabby building, however, her bravery almost disappeared from her. Her legs felt like paper straws underneath her and her heart was beating so hard that she felt her pulse in her ears. The pit of her stomach was turning with anxiety and vomit was rising into her throat, resulting in a burning pain and the threat of spewing her guts if she opened her mouth.

She didn't want to do this - nobody should want to, but for the most part, she didn't want her image of her father to be tainted. She wanted to keep the thought of how wide his smile would get when she gave him good news. Whether it was the results of a track meet or a grade on schoolwork, he'd always give her the biggest grin he could manage. She wanted to keep the sound of his voice singing to the music on the radio fresh in her mind; the warmth of his hugs and how tight he'd squeeze her.