Connected by different Strings

CHAPTER FIVE

"I thought we agreed never to mention his name".

"Tara, that was months ago. Tell me you're not still hung up on Kevin".

"There you go saying his name again".

"Tara, come on. He is over you, he moved on. Why is it taking you so long to..."

"Listen. I loved him. I gave him 2 years of my life and he shattered my heart into a million pieces. He played with my emotions like I was a fucking game system. He lied to me, he didn't love me, he didn't even care about me. I almost gave him my virginity for crying out loud. So don't you say one fucking thing about me moving on. When you're in love with a guy and he breaks heart. You come back to me" I said before exiting the restaurant.

"Tara come back, I am sorry" she shouted while following me out.

"Tara i am sorry, I didn't mean to upset you or make up cry. Just come in, eat and I'll take straight home.
I just pulled her close, I just needed her arms around me. I needed to feel secure. Kevin was my boyfriend, my man, my love, my life, my best friend, my everything. I thought he was hand picked by God.We had planned our 2nd anniversary. We planned that we would spend the evening at his house and finish it off with sex. I was excited but scared. I was supposed to meet him at his house at 4:00, where would have a candle lit dinner and dance all night and then...Sex. I completely freaked out half an hour before the time we were supposed to meet. I called and told him something popped up, I couldn't tell him I didn't want to have sex. He told me he wanted to make love to me so bad. He always told me that he loved me and he would be gentle and there is nothing i should worry about. I had told him I was ready and that I was gonna do it. After nearly 5 hours of contemplating, I dicided I was gonna do it. I went to his house but his door was open. I though, perfect oppurtunity to sneak up on him. I heard noise in the kitchen so i snuck into the room. i slowly and quietly peeled my clothes off and layed in the bed, completely nacked. then i heard the sounds getting closer, but the sounds i heard were not what i expected, they were moans and groans. I was astonished when I saw another man wrapped around my man's waist. i put my clothes back on and there was complete silence. i walked out the door looking at neither of them. this was the part i expected:

"its not what it looks like"

"let me explain baby"

"i didnt mean to hurt you"

"can we please talk about it before you do anything irrational"

but there was nothing, nada,rien...

no explanation, he said nothing, its like he didnt even care and thats what killed me. its not that he lied and cheated, dont get me wrong it hurt like hell, but the fact he didnt consider my feelings, or tell me what happened. he just moved on with his life. Him and his man. like it didnt impact him, at all.