Oh My Idol: Stranger Of Heaven

Chapter 9

"Ok, Jackson! I'll get going now," I say with a thankful face and grateful smile.

I hesitate and tremble a bit when I saw the face of the manager and Mark.

"Umm manager and M..mark, I will get going now! Thank you for taking care of me." I bow my head as low as I can to show my respect and walk away with a heavy mascot on both hands. 

"Do you need help?" Jackson says

"No, I am fine with my own. Thank you for asking!" I say.

As I  walk my way out of the gates, all that I could think of is Mark. Mark here, Mark there, Mark everywhere. This is kind of irritating now. 

I shake my head hoping to get rid of the obsession my brain has for Mark, but it didn't help at all. Is there any kind of medicine that would help this insanity of mine? "Ugggh."

When I got home back to my apartment, my whole system feels eerie, but in a good way. It was a beautiful feeling. Even the thought of Mark makes me light-hearted for some reason. A while ago, I hated the fact he appears in my mind every millisecond. But now, huh? My face is full of wrinkles with confusion. Then, I walk around my dining room hoping to release any spell I have in me if I do have one. 

But

What does it mean? Did I fell in love with this Mark person now? It's not because he has the same name as my very best friend right? Am I going crazy?

Both of my hands made my hair in a messy situation like I am now. 

"Is this what they call love?" "I guess it is beautiful like what other people say."

I walk to my couch and lay my back on it as if I could drown within the fabrics. My mind is all over the place. My love ones flew up in the sky, and now, tell me, why am I still alive? Why can't I get wings like them. I tried to hide the pain within me, but, in reality, I am just a lamb trying to be a lion. I am not someone who is strong, I am someone who pretends to be one. 

And now Mark is appearing out of nowhere. But which Mark do I care about? From the past or now.

My very best friend, where did you go? You just disappeared as fast as the wind. The spring came and I tried to look out for you. But, you are gone. Where did you go, really? 

I cry with my hands on my face. Tears fall like a stream of a waterfall. You are the only one I can grasp. All the people who love me are dead and empty. I love myself, but why does my heart feel so spacious? It feels like I have to do or find something. Something I don't know. Is it you?

I turn to my side and clasp my hands together to make it my pillow.

I will sleep for now. I know for sure tomorrow this pain right now will ease. After all, I sleep so I can forget.  Good night.