The Outcasts

Don't Say Anything

February 23

Dear Diary,

It's Monday. One of the days that I get to be free and to do whatever I want without speculation. But within the Others ground.

I'm thinking about getting a tattoo. I saw a beautiful design of a gun hidden in the pedals of a batch of roses. I'm not afraid of getting a tattoo or the pain of having to come for three sessions. It's the payment.

The payment of getting the tattoo is that every session I have to. . .the artist.

I've lived here for a month already and I'm still not use to how things work here. I hate it here, but I'm glad for the position I'm in. The other girls here get so much more hurt than I do when they have to do their job, but when they do it wrong, they get disciplined less than me.

I can still hear the crack of the whip on my flesh and the bruises are still tender in my wrists. The open wounds are now scabs all over my stomach.
They made me cut my hair short. Almost like a boy so my hair doesn't get in the way. They strapped me to a bed and cut big chunks off my hair off. Tears were rolling down my face and for that, I got a split lip. And then after I had to work. That day I had a woman. She was the one who organized where the Others were to go to attack. She made me listen to her before and after.

I feel trapped, like I'm never going to get out of here. I was never supposed to be in here. It was supposed to be Annabelle who was supposed to suffer. And thats why I'm glad I'm in the position that I am in. She would've died in here because she was so small. Only ten years old. She doesn't deserve that. She deserves to be a normal girl.

12.56 a.m.

I woke up with a yell.

I felt like I was choking, the air wasn't getting to my lungs and I sat up with each cough.

"Giuls!" I swallowed and kicked my legs over the couch.

"Your still here?"

"Yeah, I couldn't leave you alone. Plus, I don't know how to get back to school." I rubbed my eyes and stood up. "Are you okay?"

"No," I went for the door by the bathroom that looks like a closet. I pulled it open. On the other side was a titanium door with a combo lock. I unlocked it and quickly walked down the stairs. He followed.

"Giuls,"

"Hold on," I snapped. I flicked on the lights and they turned on one by one.

There was a shelf screwed to the wall with books flooding everywhere. I threw books on the ground trying to find the little door that held the most important object in my life.

The little nob showed behind another set of books and I threw them all down. I pushed the little nob and reached in behind the wall.

There was nothing there.

"Nononono!"

"Giuls what?" I froze there with my hands in my hair.

"Shit." I sat on the arm of a chair. "Shit. God. . .shit." I felt the burn of tears of my cheek.