Black suits

Chapter 28 ❁ Relinquish

He already knew what I was planning.

"Are you going to tell me that obliviate won't work on you?" I asked.

"No actually. Obliviate works quite well to my knowledge, although I'm not sure it's ever been preformed on me. Eve I was actually going to tell you to think about this. You have the power to take away my memories of you but I will still live without you forever. You will not give me the choice to remember you, this I know, but I implore you to try and beat Voldemort anyway."

His voice was soft and by the end of his lecture there were tears pouring down my face.

"I'm sorry," I pleaded. He pulled me in for a hug.

It was soft and warm, everything I'd ever wanted in a father figure was right here before me.

"I love you Evangeline. And I promise you I will not give up on this fight," he whispered.

It was then I realized I'd never seen him cry until that second. His eyes filled with tears, overflowing at the corners. He thought of me as family the same way I thought of him.

"Alright Evangeline. Go ahead," he said bravely.

I faced him then, in that circular office, wand outstretched and tears covering my face. One more step in a plan that would break everything inside me.

"Obliviate."

I left before his eyes opened and I realized he didn't know me anymore, that would've crushed me too quickly.

I took my time getting back to the Slytherin common room, not wanting to have to sneak upstairs and loose the last person I had in my life. But before I knew it I was back in the Draco's dorm, sitting on the edge of his bed and waiting for him to get back from the great hall.

He slammed the door open and raced into the room, only calming down when he realized I was right there.

"Bloody hell Angel, I thought you'd left me," he said harshly.

But then he noticed the tears that adorned my cheeks.

"Oh- Angel what's wrong?" he asked kindly, picking me up and cradling me.

"I'm going tonight Draco."

"You think you're ready for that my love?" he asked. He didn't know. He didn't know that there was no hope in fighting.

And I realized I couldn't tell him the truth. I couldn't allow him to know I was going to obliviate him. I'd do it while he was asleep, leaving in the middle of the night.

"I'm ready for it Draco."

I let myself come apart, breaking into sobs in his arms.

"You'll be okay," Draco murmured.

"How do you know?" I asked, my voice hideously shaky.

"Because. Life knows I've made mistakes. Mistakes that have cost some people their lives. But not with you. I don't make mistakes with you and I have to believe that life wants me to be a good person. They wouldn't take away the one thing that makes me that way. They couldn't."

I nodded. He shouldn't have to suffer.

For the last time I curled up in his arms as he fell asleep and I pretended to do the same.

When I was sure he was fast asleep and dreaming I slipped out and put my shoes on again.

The hardest thing I've ever had to do was something so inherently simple the irony killed me. Turning around broke every piece of my heart that was still intact.

I held my wand up to Draco's sleeping face, ignoring the fact that I was shaking bloody murder.

"O-Obliv," I started. But tears were coming too fast and I couldn't hurt him. I couldn't risk seeing him forget me.

I'm so fucking selfish.

But I couldn't do it and so with every ounce of bravery I had left, I turned and walked out the door towards my imminent death.

The night air was unsympathetic and cruel, whipping my hair around my head and freezing my lips. As soon as I made it out of castle boundaries I disapparated, thinking only of where Voldemort wanted me to go. Though this was hard because I didn't know where that was.

The biggest shock of all was showing up in the last place I would've expected. I walked up the path to the front door anyway.

There was a certain coldness in the air, though not as intolerable as it had been near the castle, as I made my way up the stairs. Harry Potter's old house, blown to bits, and I was walking through the rubble.

It seemed strange that I would be meeting Voldemort here. Somehow it seemed like the opposite of what he would want, meeting in the place where he lost all of his powers. Maybe it was to show how far he'd come? But I hardly thought of Voldemort as sentimental.

Part of me wanted to say yes to the offer I knew he was going to make me. If I did I could be with Draco forever. But every other part screamed the words I knew were true. If I couldn't get away from him I would have to die. And I would die willingly if it meant I wouldn't be helping him succeed.

I took a deep breath and turned the corner into the room that had once been Harry's. I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this. The kids toys weren't broken or removed, they were sitting on the floor obviously placed by someone who was playing with them, and because nobody was allowed in the house I assumed it had been Harry.

I reached down to touch a rubber ducky that was missing an eye and just as my hand touched the smooth yellow material someone spoke.

"Hello Evangeline."