Ours To Be (All Ours, #1)

Chapter 40

This chapter contains adult themes- smut.!!

It's not so much that I dislike weddings, no.

I hate them.

Maybe it's because I never thought of myself as someone that would get the whole healthy marriage, white picket fence, cute dog, a couple of kids and a loving spouse thing. When I thought of my future I always saw myself on my own. In a medium-sized condo, overlooking the city, big enough for me and others to stay over, a short ride away from my office and nearby my loved ones. I never once stopped to think to myself that maybe, maybe one day there'd be a person that would make me view it all differently.

Most crazy thing of all? Whenever I imagine it now, its Kayden's face that pops up in my mind. Which is absolutely ridiculous. He would probably run for his life if he found he's the father of my babies in every scenario I play out in my head these days.

One of the biggest lessons life has taught me is to never think something can't ever happen to you, because it will come back and bite you in the ass. Hard.

Now, I'm not saying Kayden is responsible for fucking with my head like this, but he is absolutely fucking responsible.

Who in the name of all things good and pure is that perfect? It's like he's not even trying.

Because he's not. It is just Kayden and how he operates. He's the guy that takes the side of the bed that's by the door. He's the guy that pretends to fight you on what we're having to eat, but ends up getting everything you wanted and more. He's the guy who puts your pleasure over his and remembers things you cannot stand and other trivial details about you.

I never thought I'd end up with a sweet man that's so caring. But he's got this dominant side to him that I was honestly waiting for to come out. The lawyer genes in me have always come in handy when reading people. I can spot lies and deception from miles away and although he wasn't lying about anything, I knew he was holding himself back. He was anything but a sweetheart in the bedroom. We haven't had sex yet but I know he'll throw me around like a ragdoll as well as making me come so hard, I'll see stars again, when we do. Goddammit, what that man's mouth can do

There are no layers to him. He is himself. Unapologetically and wholly. A good fucking human that treats me with nothing but respect and value.

I told him I'd meet him at the church where the wedding is officially taking place before we drive off to the reception hall but he wasn't having any of that. So he just texted me he'd be here in about ten minutes.

It's a good thing I started early on my preparations or else I would have to do my makeup on the road. I'm long dressed and ready to go.

I chose a gownlike dress. Maroon colored and lengthy. It's got spaghetti straps and runs down tight around my body. Not skintight but tight enough to extenuate my curves. There's a split going through the left side of my leg and my heels are black and strappy. My hair is half up, half down with two lose curls dangling over face. I thought that was very wedding-y so I just went with that. My eye-face-makeup is very light, since the girls forced me to get eyelash extensions with them two days ago, so I didn't feel the need to go crazy with that. My lips on the other hand, I've matched with the dress. A darker shade of red. I don't do bold lips often. Ever, actually. I just thought it'd look good with the dress.

And you know fucking what? It does. I used to pray for the days that I would look in the mirror and actually smile back to the reflection I was met with and not be repulsed by myself. I never needed validation or for someone to tell me that I was beautiful- I would have never been as insecure as I used to be if that were the case since I got four girls that would remind me of it on a daily. No, I needed to find it all on my own. For myself. I started working on myself and at college I realized that it would have been impossible in high school. Any process I would've made the day before would be crushed the next at school by people that had apparently nothing better to do than jeer me to depression more than my father already had.