10 Things I Hate About You - MaxTul movie AU

6 - Shameless

"Tul ? Tul. Tul !"

Loud banging shook the door.

"Big brother !"

He could hear Jane's yell as if she was just in front of him and not on the other side of the bathroom door.

"Open up Tul." her cries sounded a bit whiny to Tul's ears "Open that door. You can't shun me out."

His first impulse was to run and open the door. Jane was quite sensitive to being alone and lonely. But his steps faltered, his brown eyes, although clearer than before still hesitant. Hurt.

"Talk to me. I'm sorry Tul."

Her last sentence, combined with the sadness laced in her tone, erased all doubts in Tul's mind. Wrapping his towel around his waist, he quickly opened the shaken up door and stopped wordlessly in front of his distraught little sister.

Although he did come out and was now facing Jane, their eyes locked in a silent exchange of feelings, Tul didn't know what to say. He felt so many things all at once, that expressing them was just unmanageable right now.

Of course he was hurt beyond words by what the slender young woman had said. He never imagined that she could resent him that much and not understand his heart. He knew that she aspired for social acceptance and that she needed to be among people. But they had talked, he had explained, he had made a point. And even if she had argued, he thought his sister understood and was just being an influenceable young adult.

Annoyance and anger were also part of the frightening tangles of emotions that were running in his heart. He could still feel the tension in his muscle, the churm in his pit at the thought that she had disrespected his concerns and her promises. And let's not talk about the scu ... cockroach she had chosen to venture with. Why didn't she go for one of those harmless boys ? At least he would have ... okay he wouldn't have accepted it easily but he would have tried ... somewhat.

He was feeling guilty too. Sad that he had let himself go so much that he had not come back home when he knew full well that, since then, Jane depended on him to never be home alone. He should have been there and checked if she was safe, no matter what. She had her friends at school, all those idiots and volubile teenagers. But he might be the only one who knew how scared she was by their past, harboring instinctively the brief moments she wasn't accompanied.

Jane wasn't like him who found comfort in being alone and in control of his surroundings. They had taken two different paths in dealing with their loneliness.

And lastly, he was ashamed. He was the adult, the responsible big brother. The one who functioned with reason and logic. Not the impulsive and brainless one. How could he have left her at the party with that ass-hum-, that crap of a man ? And then, went and got wasted, slept at someone else's, to then being childish like never before ... He really didn't know from where to begin and what to say.

Hence his silent and blank face as he gazed at his lovely sister that meant the world to him.

"Tul..." Jane hesitantly said "I... I..."

Seeing her struggling for her words, looking down at once to look at her side, Tul sighed. He wanted to hug her, comfort her but something in him didn't let him do so.

Instead, he turned around, going to his bedroom to put some clothes on. His wet skin was starting to shiver and that wasn't the proper attire for a serious talk.

He could hear her sockets shuffling on the floor behind him. Jane was definitely feeling down. She had turned back to a whiny child who followed him like a little lost baby. It reminded him of the time right after They left them on their own. A smile slowly taking shape on his lips.