sunlight and shadow

chapter 1(the Darkling)

-finally, after 500 years I no longer have to hide in the shadows. I was sure another centure of serving the Lansovs would drive me insane. I had won. I was the king of Ravka and the last Lansov pup was imprisoned in my dungeons turned into a monster. It was the least he deserved after trying to beat me and trying to marry Alina. My Alina. I hadn't seen her since I watched her tracker die in her arms. it was as if a light had gone out our bond had been pulsing with pain and rage moments before but it went quiet and stayed that way. My soldiers picked her up and took her to the castle with no resistance she went unconscious from her wounds on the way. she was cleaned and dressed before she came to. all though I hadn't seen her since the war I made sure I knew what she was doing every second of every day in case she tried something stupid. she hadn't.  She also hasn't eaten slept or drank for 3 days she was Grisha and could survive much longer without any of those things but that still doesn't mean she should. I had thought she might rage try to hurt herself or break anything and everything in sight but for the past three days she has just laid in her bed staring at the ceiling. occasionally witch was six times in the past days she went to the bathroom. She was only clean because the maids bathed her and dressed her while she was still unconscious. I had to admit I was worried about her. I had wanted to break her spirit her hope-yes but I think the tracker's death broke Alina's soul. I wouldn't have been worried if she raged my original plan had been to let her do just that for a couple of weeks before I went to see her but if Alina continued like this she'd be dead by then. so I walked into her room the guards bowing to me and opening the doors. there she was on her bed not even glancing at me not showing even a flicker of emotion her eyes were glued to the plain white ceiling she was so pale she looked like a ghost with her white hair and pale face. I had seen many horrors in my days caused many as well but this..this was the thing that cracked my stone heart in half. I couldn't help it I needed to be near her so I went and sat on the edge of her bed still no reaction. I gently rubbed a knuckle down her cheek it was so cold usually she would flinch or push me away I hadn't been this close to her since I told her my name and even then she had pushed me away. I sat there for what felt like hours but couldn't have been more than a few minutes. I finally brought myself to speak bit my voice sounded raspy-broken

 -Alina 

still no reaction.

-you need to eat.

still nothing so I called for a diner tray picked up the spoon and brought some soup to her mouth. I met no resistance she didn't even swallow until she had no other choice. after she finished eating I sat there with her and a couple of minutes later she vomited up the food. even covered in vomit she didn't react and then I got an idea. a crazy stupid reckless idea. I never acted unless I was sure but for her and only her I would do this. she needed to see someone from her old life someone she cared about and there was only one person alive. I didn't like this one bit but Alina needed to see Nikolai Lansov.  She didn't know it but during the war, I  used to watch her way more then she realised. Nikolai and Alina were close way too close for my liking. Before the end of the war, she and the tracked decided to friends and he had dated Zoya when they died and before the final battle in the brief moments Nikolai turned back to a humane they kissed. I reluctantly got up to leave calling the maids so they could clean and dress her. I didn't like talking about her like she was an inanimate object but at the moment that's exactly what she appeared to be. II walked out of her room lingering on the threshold with a last glance back I left her and went straight for the dungeons.