sunlight and shadow

chapter 5(the darkling)

By the time the two hours I promised the Lansov pup were up, I could barely hold it together. The moment she looked at Nikolai I felt so much relief knowing she was still in there that she would get better, but I also felt jealous more than I had any right to be since the only thing she did was look at him. When I was ready to explode and drag Nikolai away the first tear slid down her face and my heart broke into a million tiny pieces I was frozen in place just watching her cry when the timer sounded and reminded me where I was. I quickly got rid of the Lansov and went to Alina her eyes were back to the vanity blank as ever But tears still slid down her face. I sat down next to her and stared at her beautiful face for a long moment before I reached up to wipe her tears away unlike last time when she showed no reaction this time her eyes slid to me and Alina's face crumpled. suddenly I was overwhelmed by the pain and anguish pulsing through our bond her shoulders started shaking and she bent over as if she had been punched. I did the first thing that came to mind I gathered her small body in my arms and clutched her to my chest. I thought she would push me away from start screaming at me but she just snuggled closer into me as if she could escape herself. She was shaking so hard and I have never felt more shame or guilt in my 500 years of life. knowing I was the cause of her pain was too much. I pulled her closer rubbing soothing circles up and down her arms I placed my chin on the top of her head. We sat there for hours her tears fierce but silent until she fell asleep when I took her to her bed she was still clutching my kefta in her arms when I laid her body on the bed. I was tempted to lie down next to her but I couldn't. not when she didn't know what she was doing and besides I did have a country to run so I eased out of her arms and back into the cool darkness of my ofice