Broken (Carl Grimes)

Chapter 20

I run to the side of the tracks and start throwing up again. Carl comes up behind me and holds me hair up. This is atleast the 4th  time i have threw up. I know Carl and the group are worried. Im even worried. I know what it is. I caused this because of what i did. I just didnt think it would be this bad. 

" Seriously Allicia. Why are you throwing up so much? This is not normal for you. And i know your not pregnant unless you had sex while you where gone. "

I say "  No i didnt have sex.  But I dont know why i am. "

It all should be gone now. I puked it up. I dont understand why i puked it up. I wanted it to stay down. 

I wipe my mouth and me and Carl start walking. 

He says " Are you sure you dont know why your throwing up so much? There has to be a reason."

I say " I dont know Carl. Maybe im sick. "

He says " I have some Amoxicillin in my bag. "

He starts reaching for his bag. I lay my hand on his shoulder. 

I say " Im allergic. Its okay. It will go away soon. "

He sighs and connects our hands. I smile at them.

I say " I promise Carl. Im okay theres nothing to worry about. Ill be fine in a couple of days. "

I give him the best smile i can and kiss his cheek. I hope he buys this. 

He says " That guy you where with. He knew my name. "

I say " I told him my boyfriends name was Carl. You must of said that you where my boyfriend. "

He says " I did. "

I say " Then thats why he knew your name. "

He says " Why where you with him anyways? "

I say " He found me while i was having a mental break down and offered me to come with him. Being with a group didnt sound os bad until some lady saw my cuts. "

He says " You havent have you? "

I say " Not recently but my scars arnt really invisable. "

I rub my eyes a little, from lack of sleep.  I strat yawning.

"  Where going to a house. Its just a few minutes away. "

I look up at Daryl and smile.

I say " Thanks. "

We continue walking. 

+

Once we get in the house me and Carl make a pilet on the floor. I lay downa dn little bit away from him. I dont want to get him 'sick' even though im not. 

I say " I dont wanna get you sick. "

He says " I dont care if you get me sick. I wanna cuddle. "

I giggle and bit and scoot over. He wraps his arms around me and i lay my head on his chest. 

I say " You know your the best right? "

I look up at him and smile. 

He says " Thats a lie cause your the best. "

I lean up and kiss his cheek. 

I say " I love you Carl. "

He says " I love you Allicia. "

I lay my head back on his chest and try to listen to his heartbeat to fall asleep but i cant. I hear Carl's snores and know hes asleep. I unwrap myself from him and feel the urge to throw up again. I run outside, with Rick behind me. He holds my hair up and i start throwing up. I wipe my mouth and sigh.

He says " Do you really know whats wrong with you? "

I say " I just ate some berrys. I shouldnt have ate them i guess. I was hungry. I didnt really think twice about them."

He says "  Is that the truth. I know you told Carl different storys.  Whats going on? "

I say " Its the truth. I promise. I just didnt want him to worry. I thought it was for the best. I will tell him if you want. "

He says " You know what you mean to him? Your all he talks about. All he is every worried about. I have never seen him like this with a girl. There was Savannah once but she turned out to be a bitch. But you. I think your perfect for him and i want you to keep my son in place okay? "

I say " Of course. I really do think i love him. I have never felt like this before. I mean i fell like its love. But i have never been in love. Beth would have talked to me about this. She always did. She took care of things like this. I could always go to her ya know. "

I sigh at the metion of Beth. I heard she died. I wasnt there. I feel terrible about it. She was a good friend. I wish i would have saved her. Im not to sure how she died, im to scared to ask. It might break me to much. I dont want to be broken again. 

I get pulled into a hug. I hug Rick and smile at how hes treating me. 

I say "Thanks Rick. It means a lot that your here. No ones ever been here like you. "

He says " I got ya kido. Dont ever worry about that.  Now you better get in there before Carl wakes up. He will wake up really easy. Dont want him freaking out.  "

I nod and we go back into the house. I walk over to Carl and slowly lay be down cuddling myself up to him. I kiss his cheek and nuzzle my head into his neck. 

I lied to Rick today. Somewhat. The berry part was true but i knew what they where. Thats why i ate them, i thought they would kill me. I hoped they would kill me. But they havent. ANd i dont think they will. 

Authors note:

Hey guys!

Whats gonne happen?

A little song on the side that i think kinda goes a long with Allicia's life.