T K H C

🍁 Chapter 4

“Sharon, you talk like this all the time!”

Wait, I do?

I grabbed my head. Madame Berna glanced at me, disapproving, but she didn’t say anything in front of Carol.

It wouldn’t do to interrupt Carol. It had been too long since she had enjoyed herself like this.

“I’ll have to speak more carefully…” I mumbled to myself. I shrugged at Madame Berna, hoping that she would understand that this was my first time raising a child. Madame Berna’s lips let out a small sigh.

“Madame Berna! Please come look at this! Will you catch this for me, too?”

It wasn’t just slang that Carol picked up from me. Carol had started to talk more respectfully toward Madame Berna, imitating how I spoke to Madame DeJoue.

Madame Berna went to see what Carol was talking about. “This?” she asked.

“Yes! Kyaaaaaah!” Carol screeched with joy, and she turned around with a face that betrayed her mischief.

At the same time Madame Berna stopped in her tracks.

Wait. What had made her do so?

“This, this isn’t something we should catch! Girls, run away!”

What Carol had asked Madame Berna to catch was a water snake, floating by on the river.

“Aaaaaaahhh! I- it’s a snake! Carol, run quickly!”

“Kyaaaaaah!”

Carol, who didn’t think much of the snake, looked like she was having fun.

Yeah, what do you know?

At the riverside, Madame DeJoue greeted us with a smile as we ran toward her. “Now you look your age,” she told me.

That’s not it! But I couldn’t say anything because I was gasping for air. Madame Berna, who knew well that water snakes were venomous, also couldn’t say anything as she sat on the ground to catch her breath. The only one excited here was Carol.

“Let’s do it again! Again!”

Is she the Energizer bunny or something?

***

Though I did let Carol sleep in my bed sometimes, it didn’t mean I let her do so every night. Actually, I was so used to living alone that it was uncomfortable for me to sleep with someone beside me. But there wasn’t anything to be done about that on a day like today.

Thunder and lightning roared as if they wanted to split the sky, and Carol came to me with tears in her eyes. “I’m scared, Sharon,” she whimpered.

I wondered how this child had previously endured stormy nights like this. I breathed out, trying to make sure none of my pity was reflected in my eyes. Then, with a bright smile, I extended my hand to Carol. “Come here,” I said.

As usual, Carol crawled into the bed only after receiving permission. She clung to me with her short arms and legs. It was lucky that I was growing faster than Carol.

I slowly rubbed Carol’s back.

The lightning painted the room white, and each time the thunder cut through the air, Carol buried her face into my arms.

What’s so scary about this?

I stared blankly out the window.

The night is far scarier than thunderstorms. Specifically, I was talking about dreams.

After I had resolved to live as Sharon, I started to have nightmares. In my dreams, I was always covered in blood. A sickening odor stabbed my nose, and in my hands I held a cold dagger. Sometimes the dagger was blurry, and other times it would burst into flames. Some nights it would turn to water and drip down onto the floor. What was common in all of my dreams was that the dagger was stained with blood. Someone was collapsed in front of me, as if they were dead, but I didn’t know who it was. I would reach out with a trembling hand, but I always woke up before I could find out.

Compared to that, a thunderstorm is nothing.

I patted Carol on the back rhythmically and started to hum a song. At the sound, Carol stopped whimpering, and her eyes peeked open.

Was she feeling better now?

“Wow… Sharon, you’re really tone-deaf.”

…Shut up.

I didn’t say that out loud, though. Instead, I pulled her tighter into my arms.

When I was Nara Lee, I used to be able to sing well. But now, my rhythm and tone were off, making my song strange to listen to.

Carol grumbled when I stopped humming. “Why did you stop? You should continue. I like it even though you’re tone-deaf. Your voice is pretty when you sing.”

Was I supposed to be grateful for that? Carol had said that in such a straightforward and honest way that I couldn’t decide if it was a compliment or an insult.

Still, Carol forgot about the storm and soon fell asleep. I also fell asleep, but I later woke up in a cold sweat.

Just… Who are you?

I wanted to know who I killed, but at the same time, I didn’t. I had the feeling it was something I should not know.

After checking in on Carol, who was still sleeping peacefully beside me, I buried my face in my palms.

“Ah…”

Why am I dreaming such dreams?

Maybe it was a warning from the original Sharon to be careful with her life.

***

As the sun rose, Carol woke up looking refreshed.

“Sharon, when did you wake up?”

“Just a moment ago,” I said.

“Hmm…”

Oh, maybe she wasn’t so refreshed. She was dawdling now, burrowing into the blankets as if she didn’t want to get up. I tried to pull the blanket off.

“Wake up, Carol. Aren’t you going to meet the crown prince today?”

“No…”

“Didn’t I say that only bad kids lie?” I asked.

“…You did.”

Duke Gratoni was in the neutral faction. The Gratoni region had a long and honorable history; as such, a growing number of nobles followed him in declaring neutrality.