Sam Golbach - Overthinking.

Chapter; 13

Sam's POV; first person.

Jesus. What the hell have I gotten myself into, the situation is messing with my head and I can't help but be in pain because of it, a loop, of endless, suffering, heart break. Peering over at the pill cabinet, I don't hesitate to open the cupboard, but as soon as I did, a pill bottle fell out, clashing onto the floor, just from that Colby could tell what I was up too, running to the door he grabbed the locked door by the handle and tried forcing it open.

'Sam don't you fucking dare!'

He screamed, I had limited time to pull this off, grabbing a bunch of pill bottles and emptying them onto the counter, I shoved handfuls of pills down and swallowed them like water, so this is what it had come too. In a bathroom swallowing random pills hoping they could end the pain and trauma my brain couldn't handle.

Feeling the pills dissolve into my stomach acid, I almost collapse onto my knees, I wasn't dying, well, I didn't think I was, it was just, I could feel the weakness in my body, my muscles shutting down, making it almost impossible to hold my own body weight.

Colby shoved his shoulder against the door, over and over, until he broke into the bathroom forcefully. Now collapsing to my hands and knees, Colby dropped to the floor and helped me sit up, I felt his thumb and index finger support my chin up since I could feel every bone in my body dropping, the yellow-ness already developing in my face, Colby had tears in his eyes, I could tell he didn't expect me to do this over him, maybe it would help him understand that I was serious with my words.

He helped me sit up in front of the toilet, I supported my weight slightly by gripping onto the seat with my hands, it was a weak grip, but the only thing I could do at that moment.

'Sam. I'm going to stick my fingers down your throat until you throw these pills up. I'm not going anywhere until you feel okay. Alright?'

I peered over my shoulder and saw him right next to my side, for all the words that came from his mouth. I really think he meant those ones. Beginning the process Colby stuck his index and middle finger down my throat since I couldn't do it myself, I felt the tip of his fingers meet contact with my uvula, causing me to gag, and as soon as Colby removed his fingers. I started throwing everything I took, back out again.

The male obviously didn't care that he had just done that, he didn't look bothered, just a face of relief, relief I was throwing the pills up. Comforting me he ran his hand around my back soothingly, sometimes running the same hand through my blonde hair.

'I love you. It might be a bad time to say it but I do. I may not execute it in the way that I should. But I love you Sam.'

After I stopped throwing up, listening to his words made sense, if he knew he wasn't executing it in the way he should, then why didn't he try to execute it in the way that he was supposed to, your supposed to fix your mistakes right? So why wasn't he?

After all this throwing up, I still felt weak, but most of all, I felt tired so tired, that I felt my body just collapse into Colby's lap, but luckily he caught my head since he didn't want the impact on his knees to hurt my skull, that was when he knew that I needed sleep, I could barley function and keep my eyes open.

Knowing Jake was possibly still asleep, he picked me up bridal style, admiring me even though I was in this state, on the way to the stairs, I noticed Colby had also turned the cooker off since I was in the middle of breakfast, that was one thing I could cross off my worrying list, he carried me up the stairs and to my surprise, he took me into his bedroom.

Colby opened the blanket and laid me down, covering my body back up with the blanket again, he grabbed the chair from his desk, and wheeled it beside the bed, I think instead of keeping an eye on me in the bed, he wanted to stay right by my side incase I needed anything.

'Get some rest. I'm going to check your pulse every once in a while okay? Just to make sure. But I'll know you'll be alright. Behind that soft skin of yours, there's a tough worrier deep down.'

He smiled to me, I barley could even smile back, but I managed too, closing my eyes, it didn't take me long to fall asleep, I was so tired, the pills manipulated my body for a little, but the feeling never got worse after I threw them up, so even though Colby knew I was going to be okay, I did too.

'Goodnight baby boy.'