Colby left Samual to go on a business trip halfway around the world. What Colby doesn't know, that he was the glue to Sam's Sanity. And now that he's gone, with time zones blocking their communication. Sam is loosing himself, pushing his friend's aw...
Thing's have been weird lately between me and Colby, he's half way across the world dealing with a job interview, and I'm stuck here drowning in my own business. Maybe our friendship went south because of the feelings I told him, or the telling him my problems, but may not have executed them the way that I should of. Corey and Jake don't really care about me either anymore, they sort of just- got into their own bubble, and forgot that I have feelings too.
I'm sat here, in my bedroom, it's currently 3:47 in the morning. I have black bag's drooping under my eye's from all the sleep that I've lost. And I'm already debating my life at the age of 16, like what sort of job will I have, will I make it to the age of 18? Or will all these feelings kill me from the inside. Your right, it's rotten of me to think such things like that, but when you've been through things that I have, it's sort of hard not too...
I'm tired of this. I know the time zone's are different now that Colby is half way around the world, but, I have to talk to him; I miss him.
I slipped my hand into the left side pocket of my black sweats, and pull out my red back IPhone, the Internet is not a comfortable place anymore, it used to be, but now, it makes me sad. I let out a sigh from my dried up lips, and began to message Colby.
'What am I doing, he's not going to respond. He's probably asleep. But, I need him more then ever.'
I thought too myself. Psh. But it didn't stop me from giving it a go...
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'Seen'
He hasn't replied to me for a while now. It's been about an hour? Is there anyway he could be busy at this time? Probably not. He's probably upset with me; or he has a new best friend-
I shook my head slightly and immediately put the phone down on my bed. Faced down so I wouldn't be tempted to look at any further messages. Why does he hate me? Does he even care about me anymore? When will I get to see him?
After those few thoughts, I place my hand on my forehead gently, feeling the sadness soil in my body. Maybe everyone hates me. Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong, maybe I'm supposed to be the one on the sideline. Or maybe I just don't deserve anyone..
"Stop it Sam. Your overthinking too much."
I say aloud. Hoping to get the message into my brain that I was just, over thinking the situation. Colby told me before he left that I overthink too much. And that he'll always be there for me. He'll be that shoulder I need to cry on about my problems. The tissue to wipe my tears. And the warm embrace to keep me safe from the cold of sadness.
I'm sorry to him that I broke that, and started overthinking again. I'm sorry Colby, please forgive me...
