Hey There, Delilah

Hey There, Delilah (20)

"You could never hate yourself as much as I hate myself. I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror every day, knowing that everyone's scared of me. You have no idea what it's like to be made fun of and be told that you have no one there for you," he said, and I didn't bother to tell him about how Arianna would make me feel like I wasn't worthy of her presence every day, because I knew he didn't want to hear it.

He continued, "I've had so many thoughts about ending my life that I could write a book about it. But all those thoughts, and all my urges to cut, went away... when you came."

I breathed in sharply, confused. How did I make all his horrible urges go away?

"I don't know why, but they just did. But for some reason, they've recently come back..."

I felt horrible for River. But was I somehow comforting him and making him feel better by just being there? What was I doing to make those thoughts go away?

"But you do have people there for you," I told him. "You have Rex, and Seth, and you have me! River, you're not alone! You'll never be alone!"

I looked down at his arm once again, and my eyesight went blurry when I saw all the scars that went up his wrist, and even up his arm to his elbow. I couldn't believe he was hurting like this and I didn't even notice at all.

"I stopped for a little bit, and the scars started to go away... But I've been getting the urge to cut more and more now... and I don't even know why," River informed me, looking down at his wrist.

"River," I said, letting go of his arm and pushing him down on the bed. I didn't care how uncomfortable or awkward the position we were now in would be if we were in a different situation, so I straddled his waist anyway. "Please, just stop it. I can't see you hurting yourself like this. I'm so sorry that I didn't even realize... I'm sorry that you're going through so much pain! Just please... stop it! You're going to hurt a lot more people than just yourself if you keep doing this! River!" More tears escaped my eyes, and they plopped down onto his face. I then fell forward, burying my face in his neck as I hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry I didn't even notice... Please, River... just stop. Please... do it for me?"

I felt his arms slowly wrap around my waist, as if unsure. "I won't do it anymore," he whispered in my ear.

"Promise?" I asked, gripping his hand tightly.

River sighed, his eyes closed. "Promise."

I smiled at him, grateful that he was going to stop because I asked him to. River looked up at me, and we both didn't say anything for a while until he broke the silence. "It's the reason why I go to Bentwood," he suddenly said, causing my eyebrows to furrow. "Cutting," he started to explain. "My parents got freaked out because I suddenly turned all dark and emo and started cutting myself, so they thought if they sent me to Bentwood, I would go back to my old self. But I didn't. Everyone thinks I've stopped cutting... So... just don't tell anyone."

I blinked, not knowing what to say. I nodded.

So not only had I found out why Rex went to Bentwood, I now found out why River attends the school, as well. But what about Seth? His seems a lot worse than Rex or River's reason. What could Seth have done that was so bad?

I didn't think I'd ever find out.

                                                                               

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