Gut Feelings (Varian x Witch!Reader)

The Collector

We went to the village and put our plan into action! "Help! I'm in Mortimer peril! Someone do something!" Shorty yelled as Lance stood in front of him wearing a black cape and black mask. "Stand and deliver!" Lance said swinging the cape from around his body. I covered my mouth with one hand and squeezed Varian's arm. "I am standing." Shorty said and I had to try harder to keep it together. "This is the best plan I've ever had!" I whisper yelled and giggled uncontrollably. "Okay, okay, okay." I took a deep breathe to calm myself down some. "Vex, you're up." I said and she walked out from behind the barrels.

"Give me thine coin purse! Oh, bearded homunculus!" Lance said pointing a sword at Shorty. "Oh no! A holdup! In broad daylight?! What can we do?" Vex said and Varian and I started laughing. "Shh! Kids! Keep it together!" Eugene said and Varian covered my mouth while I covered his, but we still continued to laugh. "Oh look! Captain Quaid!" Vex said pointing to Quaid before grabbing him by the arm.

"Thank goodness you just happen to be here!" She said dragging him over to Lance and Shorty. "Their acting is so bad!" I whisper yelled to Varian and he snorted before covering his mouth and my eyes widened before I covered my own mouth trying not to blow our cover. "S-Sapphs. Y-you just!" I tried to get a full sentence out, but I kept getting interrupted by my laughter and his.

"Thou thinkest thou can defeat me? 'Tis to laugh!" Lance said before doing a loud and hearty fake laugh causing Varian to snort again. I hit Varian's arm lightly and held onto his sleeve to keep myself from falling over. Varian held onto my arm to keep me from falling as we both stifled our laughter as best we could. "It's not that funny guys! I mean, honestly, he wasn't any better as the bush." Eugene said and Varian and I started to calm down. That was until we looked at each other and started laughing again.

We watched Lance do some weird dance before he started to fake attack Quaid. I leaned on Varian and my laughter finally started to die down. I wiped my eyes from any tears and sighed. We watched as everyone gathered around to watch the both of them fight.

Lance's blade was soon flying through the air and landed in the dirt. "Oh, the ignominy! Quaid hath returned like a tempest of justice that rain upon the parched earth of crime." Lance said falling into his knees and bowing down to Quaid before fake crying. I covered my mouth once more and I felt Varian start to laugh again as well.

"Let's make some noise for Quaid!" Vex shouted and the citizens started chanting his name. I burst out laughing as well as Varian. "St-stop laughing! It-it's not even th-that funny!" Varian said and I only laughed harder at the glorious scene that had unfolded in front of my eyes. I tried to form a sentence, but I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Varian was just staring at me and laughing along with me before he snorted again and both of our laughter paused.

I stared at him as he raised his hand to point at me. "I-I swear! I-if...if you start laughing again!" He cut himself off as he started laughing and I broke right after. After a few more minutes of laughing we finally calmed down. "It wasn't that funny. Your laugh just made me want to laugh." Varian said as he giggled lightly and I wiped my eyes. "Oh my god my gut is a genius. That was so funny." I said still laughing a little at what had happened.

"You snorting didn't help at all Sapphs." I said laughing and wiping my eyes more. "I refuse to speak of that ever happening." He said pulling me with him so we can go back to the others. "Oh my god. I'm going to treasure that moment for the rest of my life. That was amazing." I said and giggled a little.

Over the next few days, we all watched as Quaid started to get better and better at pretty much everything! His confidence was through the roof and the people of Vardaros were actually gaining hope. Vex was really starting to look up to Quaid as well.