Alive but dead. (karlnap)

chapter 2, karl

Tw: mentions of self-harm and abuse and suicide

Everything that could go wrong in my life did. Maybe thats a bit dramatic, but still its true in some ways.

Before everything went to crap, my mom died from a heart attack. She was a horrible person, you could ask anyone. She would tell me i was worthless and should die. Whats funny her words weren't what drove me towards wanting to die.

It was my dad, he was a jerk. Everyday I would come home from school and he would say it was my fault my mom died and I should've died instead.

The reason his words hit me so hard were because he used to be a kind hearted caring man then my mom turned him into a horrible person. When my mom ever got onto me he would come in and hug me after words so I felt loved.

I never understood why he didn't just leave her, if he did he wouldn't have caused me so much pain. He basically drove me to hurting myself.

I started doing it after months of deal with his hateful words, everyone of my friends didn't really notice but quackity did.

He saw my scars and marks on my wrist. After school that day he dragged me to his house and made me tell him everything. Well he didn't force me I just told him because I felt like he cared.

And he did after that he was always by me and wouldn't let me go home alone so I didn't have to deal with my dad. It was nice to feel cared for.

Then one day he wasn't at school so he couldn't walk me home, which was scary because I haven't had to deal with my dad for weeks. Now ill have to.

I walked into my house and my dad came over to me, before he did anything he looked around and waited for a bit. I guessed he was seeing if quackity was going to show up.

Which he didn't and my dad knew that now. He walked up to me and punched me, I threw up any food I even ate that day mixed with some blood.

He started to scream at me, but I wasn't listening all I was focusing on was that he physically hurt me. The person that made me feel the safest ive been, physically hurt me.

I stood up after he walked away and went to my room I was prepared to die. So I hurt myself till I had no more room to leave cuts I was bleeding everywhere.

But I didnt die because quackity saved me before I did. After that I never saw my dad again because I went to live with quackity.

He stayed with me most of the time, he didn't want me to try and die again which is understandable. But my brain wanted me to die so it gave me reasons why to do so.

I tried so many times, I tried to sneak out while he was asleep but he always found me before I could do anything. Everytime he found me he was crying which made me cry because I knew he was in pain for my stupid actions.

So I stopped for a month then shit hit the fan and everything went crazy. We found out from the news. Quackity told me that we should go to his friends who had weapons.

Quackity knew a person for everything. We went over and he gave me a gun and a knife. He grabbed himself a gun a flame thrower.

I was really confused at first, but I'm so glad now from all the time he saved us with that. After we got stuff we went back for Quackity's parents but they seem to already left because they weren't at the house and wouldn't pick up his calls.

So we just ran far, trying to find a place that didn't have those creatures. But they were always there. After a while we stopped out side a city.

We got some supplies and continued walking, then a creature started to follow us so we started running we just kept running until I fell through a whole in the floor that led to the underground tunnels.

When I fell I broke my left leg, I also  made a huge gash on it when i fell down on a rock, quackity just yelled for me saying he's going to come get me.

I screamed and told him to run and find me later which took a lot of convincing for him to finally do. My leg started to hurt like hell.

Then out of the corner of my eye I saw one of those things, I froze. I was alone and defenseless. I grabbed a metal pole and started to swing it at it but then it got on top of me and I had to hold it back.

I started screaming bloody murder hoping someone would save me, then I heard a gun shot then the monster that was trying to eat me was dead.

I crawled back away from it, that was terrifying. The guy that shot it came over and comforted me and made sure I was okay. His brown eyes were mesmerizing and his messy black hair held up with a bandana made him look sweet.

I felt like I could trust him, his friends came a little later which made me more scared but he soon calmed me down. His friends seemed nice and all but I could barely keep my focus. I just wondered how quackity was doing.

But then speak of the devil-