Someone to Stay

"I know, I know, love," I put an arm over her shoulders and hug her close, allowing her to know that I'm by her side. Always and forever.

"I just can't let them go. The glade, my friends," YN doesn't stop crying. "I feel lost, alone." She confesses. Her voice breaking out at the last word.

My poor love was sitting alone, clinging to the ruin of her broken home. I knew she hated the maze, but honestly she was happier there. I can see that. YN was too lost and hurting to carry her load.

She needed someone to hold.

"YN," I softly spoke, "I know how it feels being by yourself in the rain. We all need someone to stay. And I plan on being that person. I'll do what I can to make you happy and find a safe place for us."

YN looks up at me. "I know you will." She whispers. "I'm sorry it's just so hard to stay strong all the time." My heart hurts at her words. "I've tried my best to not bring you guys down with me, but it's killing me inside."

My poor, YN has been fighting the memory all on her own. A tear escapes my eye. How could I be so oblivious to notice that behind that reassuring smile, was sadness. I didn't help her. I didn't then but now maybe I could.

"You're not alone love," I encourage, "we're all here for you."

I pause.

"I'm here for you."

I needed to tell her about my limp.

"I felt like this once too."

YN needed to know she wasn't the only one who felt this feeling. She wasn't alone. That I was here.

YN sits up, now facing me directly in the eyes. Her cheeks are tear stained.

"I too felt like I was alone. Back in the glade. Years from now." I avoid her glance because it'll be easier to explain this way. "I though my life didn't have a purpose, so I found the tallest wall I could in the maze one day, and... and I jumped."

"Newt," YN sobs, placing her hand on top of mine in my lap.

"The ivy got caught in my leg and it shattered it in three places. Minho found me. He gave me another chance at life. He was the friend who stayed for me then. That's why I have this bloody limp. It's showing me that I still have a life to live and I shouldn't have tried to give up then. Neither should you."

"Newt I'm so sorry," YN cries, cupping my face with her small hands.

"Don't be," I try to smile, although with the tears in my eyes it wasn't so convincing. "You're the reason I want to live now. I just needed someone to stay. As do you. And I'll be here for you till the end of it all."
YN tries to smile as well. I keep letting the words fall out. "And when I knew I truly loved you I thought to myself, 'will she be the girl to fix me up? Will she show me hope and fix my broken pieces?' Cause the end of the day I was helpless."

It's true, I had no one to love until I saw her. No hope. No purpose. I didn't see the good in living until YN came along. I kept wondering, 'Can she keep me close? Can she love me the most.'

YN's POV:

With that I pulled his lips to mine. And we kissed. Desperate for each other's  love. Except this time it was different from any other kiss we had shared. We truly needed one another. We were two broken souls who needed one another for support and love. Without the other we felt incomplete. After a few seconds we broke the kiss and held onto each other as if our lives depended on it. In this case it did. Not showing someone how much they mean to you can lead to what Newt tried to do to himself.

My poor Newtie was just like me. We were both broken on the inside. He was right. I can't give up. I just need someone to stay. Nothing worsens and nothing grows if I have my feelings bottled up. Newt understands that because he felt this way too. I can't make the same mistake he made years ago. It would only make things worse. Therefore, I planned to stay.

I can't give up now.

Newt still needs me.

I need him.

*******

A/n - I may or may not have cried a little while writing this.

Off topic- I love Newt sm and I wish I could give him a big hug. He deserved the world.