𝖍𝖝𝖍 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

The Nights I Hold You Close [feitan x reader]

The two of you sat in silence for a few moments. Your hands moved to work the dirt out from under your nails. It was a welcome distraction from your mind.

"I go there too."

You bit your lip, trying not to look as surprised as you felt. Fei was always one to shy away from emotions rather than bring them up. "How do you make it stop?"

His eyes filled with amusement as he looked at you over his bandana. "If I know, I not go anymore."

You chuckled. "Fair point."

Neither of you moved as Uvogin and Nobunaga came down the hall. "Ready to tap out?" Uvo asked with a grin. He was far too excitable for the middle of the night. Nobunaga looked much less jovial.

"Are you sure neither of you want to sleep?" you asked. "I can stay for an extra shift."

They both shook their heads. "We'll be fine. Besides, there's not much else to do around here."

"Well then," you hopped up, stretching slightly. "Have fun."

"Yeah," Nobu nodded, scratching his chin. "Right."

You headed down the hallway, the moonlight illuminating your path. Feitan followed alongside you, silent as always. His room came first. Regardless, you wouldn't be going to your room anyway. The nights were awful when your headspace was unpleasant, so you'd been spending much of the night perched on the windowsill at the end of the hall. There was a pond out that way. In the mornings, you could see ducks. It was peaceful.

When Feitan dropped away from you, you reached above your head, stretching out as you continued down the hallway. Your muscles ached; there was nothing to do but train or play games while waiting for Chrollo's next set of instructions. Sitting and waiting all day was almost as uncomfortable.

You tucked into the corner of the window, gaze trailing the horizon. The trees rustled in the breeze, water rippling gently. The world was so much more beautiful than you'd ever give it credit for. Despite all the atrocities humans created, nature seemed to make small paradises. If only people like you didn't exist to tarnish them.

A voice to your right startled you, Feitan staring intently from the shadows. "You not sleep?"

You tried to get by with a shrug. "Don't feel like it."

"Why?" He knew the answer, but he wanted you to say it. He had a way of prodding things out of you; he was a master interrogator, after all.

You worked the dirt out from under your nails again, grateful for a way to avoid looking at him. "It's hard to sleep," you conceded. "Bad dreams."

"What you dream about?"

He watched as you hesitated, memories threatening to cascade across your vision again. He didn't want that to happen; he wanted you to feel better. Although he enjoyed working with Phinks, you were his favorite teammate. He didn't want you to truly suffer.

"Come with me." He turned, looking back over his shoulder. "We talk in private."

You hadn't intended to follow, but before you completely realized what you were doing, Feitan was ushering you into his makeshift room.

A mat was placed on the floor, blanket folded neatly on top of a pillow. Undoubtedly, all of it was stolen. Like the rest of the Troupe, he only brought what he could carry on his person. Everyone traveled light.

He pointed to the mat expectantly, and you sat on the edge of it. He settled beside you, gaze gentle but expectant. "You not tell me what you dream about?"