Until Skies Taste the Sun (Lost Series #1)

Kabanata 34

"How could you?!" sigaw ko kay Daddy. I was fuming mad and hurt.

"How could you leave me?! Why didn't wait for me!" I was punching his chest while he was making me stop. 

"Bakit hindi mo ako hinintay! You're so cruel! You didn't think of me-"

"How could I think of you, Avi? Huh?" He was now shouting back at me. 

"Your mom..." He was crying, which doubles the pain I was suffering that I had to look at the side. "'Yung mama mo...'yung asawa ko. Duguan! What would you expect, huh?! Hintayin pa kitang makasakay ng sasakyan at pabayaang patuloy na masaktan ang Mommy mo?! Were you hearing yourself? Magalit ka pero ang asawa ko lang ang tumatakbo sa isip ko no'n. I badly need her alive because she was losing too much blood!"

Luhaan akong humarap sa kaniya. "Kahit na!"

His eyes turned dark. "What are you saying," gigil niyang sabi.

"Sana hinintay mo nalang ako, Daddy... Sana hinintay niyo nalang ako! If Mom was already dying-"

"You're out of your mind."

"No! It's true! It's the truth! If you only did wait for me... I-I could see... talk, kiss, and hug her one last time! You killed my chance!" 

I covered my mouth to keep my sobs. "You didn't even think of it as my birthday present nalang..."

He eyed me the way he used to do when I'm confused about picking directions in life, including my program. Like I'm a fool, dumb... stupid.. that is not worth having as his child. 

"I ride or let my wife die! Why can't you use your goddamn brain, Avianne?! What do you want me to do, huh? Unahin ko pa ang mararamdaman mo kaysa sa buhay ng Mommy mo?!"

His words were painfully right I hate admitting but it was just too painful for me to never see my mother on her last second and breath.

 "That's what your problem is! You're sensitive heart and lack of mind!"

I sobbed more. I was hurting more.

Mabuti pa siya... He was there when Mommy died. Mayroon siyang babaunin... Pero.. paano naman ako?

What about me? The smile she gave me at her weakest moment haunts me every of my night. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stand. I couldn't walk, talk, eat... I couldn't open my eyes without getting damp. I couldn't close my eyes without something falling on my cheeks.

I pointed a finger at Dad. "You!" 

I'm not a pathetic bitch. Or maybe I am. But I've been wanting this to let out. I need it. "Wasn't it your goddamn fault! Your womanizing was the fucking reason why Mom was put in that situation! Kung sana hindi ka kumabit sa iba-"