12: Toska

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What was life? Jonathan had lost the slightest idea of  what it could be as in the nick of time he had to choose  where he was to stand or where he was to fall yet, it felt as though he couldn't.

The choices he had fallen accustomed to in his years of extant rounded up in his mind. Ye' come rainy, Ye come sunny his entire existence had summed up to choices which he had carried like a skin neither as a responsibility nor a duty.

Never once had it rolled under the carpet of forfeiting. Well it could, he groaned the instant the words left his lips then groaned even harder the moment Reye's hands left his skin wanting warmth beyond imaginable.

Stares thrown after a sudden leave dug bores in his eyes. It wasn't a mere stare of eyes meeting the other at the edge, or the one that said hello after a first glance neither was it a stare that stole hearts, cuddled souls and stationed the mind in a forever trance.

It was a stare that read fìn and that terrified Jonathan. It was as though he was staring back at himself the moment he had fallen the empire his father had built, wrecked his life and said goodbye to destiny with a mind wanting death.

Time didn't stop at that moment neither did the world  but he had stopped, simply dead in the brain with just a flicker of his lids which read alive.

In this liberated time, having just the sweet song of the grand father's clock as a witness the feeling of  fin relived.

The past was replaying itself only he wasn't lying across a deserted street in pure regret . He was soaked in the future baked in choices wrapped in his hands.

And like in the past he would ruin it. Honour and nobility a shield he wore over his shoulder slipped through his shoulders ending in dust, immediately the thought swam past his mind. What was left was a part of him stuck in a tight spot with fossil of his past as a reminder.

It would be over! The voices in his head always ready to attack proceeded. Instantly it thawed down as Reye spoke.

"I know you would do the right thing."Jonathan nodded gripping his skin till he could feel his nails sink deeper and deeper leaving a harsh stung vibrating through out his arms. Halt commerced thereafter, so did pain lavishly squeezing his lung.

Air began to deflate as well as the sight of his friend whose words had faded away to rasped whispers.

A sudden crave for air strived and he satisfied it by stepping into the porch. Reye in utmost shock tagged behind him calling his wife to be in a rush.

"Hand us water."

"I'm fine, I just need to get going. No time shall be rested." He said lightly, trying his best to balance his tone rising in tension. Reye gave him a pat on the shoulder no longer a home to nobility and honour, Jonathan with sorrowful eyes he hid with a laugh squeezed his hands in return.

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