𝐵𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒽𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉 | 𝒟.𝑀.

36 | ﴾ I Won't Do It ﴿

For days I missed classes and starved myself in my dormitory. My heart never stopped pounding as I thought of the unsuspecting and innocent students and teachers at Hogwarts that didn't know what was coming. My sense of morality was in a vicious battle against my sense of loyalty to Draco, and I slowly retreated inside of my body in a paralyzed state.

Harry especially had occupied my mind greatly. His care and protection for me was clearly one sided if I didn't find a way to either stop Draco from allowing the Death Eaters to storm the castle, or if I didn't warn him. But what to do was the greatest question of all and I froze up entirely, swatting away Hilda when she tried to confront me with worry about what was so wrong.

Draco had made it ferociously clear that he would do whatever it took to appease the dark lord at the risk that his family would otherwise be harmed. But there was so much trauma and deep regret from what he felt he was being forced to do that I couldn't help but allow a small thread of hope to blossom in my heart. I desired more than anything to believe that his mind could be changed before he did something horribly unforgivable.

It was without a doubt that he was searching for me constantly. I'd on more than one occasion throw up from the sheer pain of the scalding Bequeathment mark on my neck. If he was feeling even a fraction of the heartbreak that I was feeling than it was understandable, but I wasn't ready to see him.

Finally, days later on Thursday afternoon Hilda ripped my blankets clean off of my frail body and I curled up in a tiny ball in my night slip to protest. I turned my face into the pillow but it did nothing to stop her from literally rolling me off of the bed.

"That's it!" She cried loudly as I grimaced from my elbow hitting the wooden flooring, "If you don't get up today, I'm going to Snape and having you sent to the infirmary, Frenchness." She leered down at me from where her hands were on her hips. She was wearing a tight green turtle neck and black jeans and massive black skull earrings that triggered me.

I hung my head down submissively and let my tangled hair cover my eyes. "Did you not hear me?" She barked at me, kicking my leg with her boot. All I could think of was how helpless Hilda was to the oncoming attack in mere weeks.

"Let her rot if she wants to rot," Pansy said from her bed where she was oddly staring at herself in a hand mirror.

"I don' want to get up. Please, leave me," I spoke like a zombie, my voice cracking from not being used for so long. She yanked me to my feet by my upper arm and I wobbled and clung to the bed post from the sudden dizziness that ensued from being dehydrated and starved.

"Do you have any idea how annoying it has been listening to Draco cry all day in the common room? What happened between you two? Did you break up?" She urged me, poking me in the shoulder to try and engage me. "I haven't been able to see my own boyfriend because he's so busy comforting yours, who won't leave the common room because he's too busy waiting for you to come out."

"It's so cringey, I'm tempted to just offer him a blowjob to cheer him up," Pansy lazily injected. When I glared at her for the vulgarity she just shrugged her shoulders and sarcastically quipped, "Kidding, relax." I narrowed my eyes at her with the distinct expectation that she was not.

Hilda snarled, pointing her long black nail at Pansy, "Not today Parkinson."

She turned back to me with authority, "We're getting you showered, dressed, and down to fucking dinner. You look like a corpse, and you smell like one too. I meant at least you don't have to worry about wedding weight, but this is just too much." I was too weak to argue, knowing that I truly could not go much longer. I did just that, showered and brushed my hair out, and put on white sweatpants and a light blue hoodie that read Beauxbatons across the front in gold hand lettering. I put on slippers which may not have been a wise choice as they were indeed slippery and I was gaunt, but I preferred the idea of ease and comfort.