𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐲'𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞

52 | 𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝐶𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑅𝑎𝑡

"And the quote means that no matter how much we look to change ourselves, the result will hurt us more when we don't get the recognition we deserve," I explained, glancing down to my flashcards.

Kayla added, "I think we've all experienced something similar where we try to be good enough for someone." She spoke with an edge, gritting her teeth and glaring at me from the corner of her eyes.

I ignored her and persistently said, "but sometimes, you will be good enough," I uplifted, shooting her a look.

She grimaced and explained, "the person will lose perception of who they are. They won't see the difference between what they want and what the person they are trying to impress will want."

I scoffed with a laugh. "It's a fifty-fity shot. You might like exactly what they like, but good change is for the better--"

"This isn't about good change--" Kayla snapped with a disproving smile. I almost forgot we were standing in front of a class who seemed rather interested in our topic at hand.

They were leaning to the edge of their seats as Mrs. Allen sighed, scoping out the faces, then mumbling, "just move on to the next quote," with a careless throw of her hand.

"Perfect," Kayla exaggerated. "By Marcus Aurelius, he says, 'Adapt yourself to the life you have been given; and truly love the people with whom destiny has surrounded you'"

"Exactly," I sharply muttered, giving her a pointed look. I didn't know what her problem was all of a sudden, I think it was because as we were driving home after dancing in the parking lot, I briefly mentioned that I hated the purple dress, but this was no warrant for her attitude. "He's saying to be appreciative--"

"No," Kayla muttered, staring at her flashcard. She met my eyes with something softer. "We've talked about this. He's saying to appreciate the people who came into your life with no force."  

"Well, how are you supposed to know the difference between free will and fate?" I questioned. "My free will can be my destiny."

"I don't think so," Kayla muttered. "There's a difference between what's meant to be and there is no such thing as fate."

"No," I argued, my hand slapping down, pinching the flashcards between my fingers tight. "Marcus is saying that there are fateful people, people who are meant to be in your life. And those people can be the people you drag into your life."

Mrs. Allen popped her head out behind her desk. "Uhh--should I intervene?"

I continued, "I truly do love the people I surround myself with--"

"And what about the people you forcefully push away, but who always come back. I'm not shining the spotlight on some, but me?" She gestured to herself. "I came back after you pushed me away, maybe sometimes, free will interferes with destiny. Maybe Marcus is onto something---"

Mrs. Allen muttered, "you're supposed to talk about him using his last name--whatever," she brushed off.

I shook my head rigidly. "He's saying to adapt to the circumstances," I grumbled before groaning and intercepting myself. "Fine, then what is it that you're saying? What is Marcus saying?" I threw up my flashcards, two of them flying out of my hand.

Kayla pursed her lips. "I'm just saying, if there is such a thing as destiny, it doesn't allow free will to get in the way."

Mrs. Allen looked up weakly. "Was that the end of it? You reached your time."

"Yep," I murmured, hearing the resounding claps from the classroom. My eyes shifted to Victor who was quietly clapping, his eyes trained on the desk, refusing to look at me. I'd nearly forgotten our argument, but it came back to me. He wanted me there to help find his brother, but I turned him down, because I knew that if I wanted Sullivan, I had to get rid of distractions.