𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐲'𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞

35 | 𝐴-𝑂𝑘𝑎𝑦

Two blowjobs in the span of twenty-four hours. Not what I'd consider to be a good rep on me. 

"Don't worry, you're gonna do great." Sullivan gave me a thumbs up as Mrs. Allen presented our project to the classroom. The presentation was in front of my eyes on the big screen and I felt a tidal wave of anxiety freeze me in place making my hands go cold and hot at the same time. I swallowed down the spurts of frustration that increased in my throat.

"Hi, I'm Sullivan Corbett and this is my colleague, Azariah Kellman."He gestured to the board as it flipped to our next slide. "Why do people like thriller movies? Thriller and suspense is a genre that lets us feel exhilarated and fearful in a controlled environment where it keeps it to a minimum."

Like Victor last night... I should not be thinking about that.

I added because he almost flipped to the next slide without mentioning, "thrillers deliberately amplify the suspense to make us feel adrenaline without getting the jump-scares that horror movies provide. Instead of giving a more solidified fear of death in people's minds, it gives anxiety, confusion, and an increasing amount of suspicion."

I nodded to Sullivan to switch the slide. My heart thundered against my ribs as I was afraid of what he was going to say. We didn't rehearse it all that much, but nonetheless, I surveyed the classroom, attempting to guarantee points for eye contact. Suddenly my eyes landed on Victor. 

Sullivan listed off the movies we watched and then went to the next slide as he spoke about the first movie. I spoke about the second, and every other until Sullivan concluded the fifth movie premise to the class. Each movie increasingly worked its way up to the most recent year, 2008.

He pressed on the board and the next slide met the students' eyes. I held my flashcards, glancing down, then proclaiming, "thrillers get the heart racing and what my colleague and I learned about them is that there was always such an unexpected twist. There's always one path that the main character takes before something interrupts and creates a whole other plot within its main one."

Sullivan concluded, "thrillers share in common a theme of unexpectedness. Nothing is what it seems and it could change at any moment."

He flipped to the next slide of scientific bullet points. "On our findings," I started, my eyes trained on Victor as if I were only talking to him. I used him selfishly to help trick myself into thinking that I was just ranting to him like I do. With this in mind, I could block out Kayla, or Jay, or the high school perv, Olivia, Rowan, Wolfie and Sam, and everyone. They all faded with him there and that made me feel a million things, but stage fright was not one. "We've discovered that people feel comforted by thrillers because it lets us confront our fears."

I looked over to Sullivan, but he only shrugged.

My heart stopped. He should've been speaking and talking. I swallowed down the frustration as silence waved over us. In the corner of my eyes, Victor ghostly nodded two times, he was focused on me as if he'd known that I was using him to get through this presentation.

"Everyday people like you and me, commonly might have-uhh--" I pursed my lips, something slitting my breathing. "A lack of trust with bosses, politicians, and people who are higher in--uh--status." I looked to the teacher, then the clock, then back to Victor. "A common occurrence with thrillers is that they all approached a relationship of a higher status like I said. There was always an indifference in status..." My voice trailed.

I'm saying 'status' too much.

"And we learned," I continued, "the main character always is outrageously brave. Ready to confront death, something that most are incapable of doing under pressure, but..." I thought hard on what to say. "We confront death everyday, thrillers illustrate that. They show that waking up, leaving the house, and meeting people, can all lead to an inevitable... plot twisted... ending... and that's what scares us."