𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐲'𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞

51 | 𝑆ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝐴𝑓𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑑

Freedom felt nice.

"Make a left turn," he instructed with a faint gleam in his eyes. I smiled brightly, twisting the wheel and drawing the car closer to the lot. He nodded his head. "Good job, Ms. Kellman."

"So?" I urged excitedly, putting the car in park and bouncing in my seat. "Did I pass? Am I officially out there in the world?" My voice was ecstatic and felt a bubble of enthusiasm clog my throat.

He nodded, looking at me with a smile. "I think you did. I'm impressed and yes, you might just be officially out there in the world as long as you drive exactly how you did here with me."

"Of course," I assured him with a smile, getting out of the car and slapping the door closed with a smile. I saw my mom at the curb, her hands to her chest. "I did it!" I squealed, sprinting to her and embracing my arms around her figure as she did the same. I felt so happy, so guy-free that the sky even looked somewhat bluer.

My friends were right, I did need a break.

My mom gave me one last squeeze and parted to say, "I heard there's this cafe that just opened! Celebratory cup?" She sounded just as anxious to get our afternoon peek of coffee, and I couldn't help but agree. Besides, I knew I needed to talk to her about this whole fiasco.

I exclaimed, "yep, and I'll drive!" I twirled the keys around my index finger. 

When we were seated at a wooden table in the indie styled hole in the wall cafe with cute cactus neon signs and orange-yellow fairy lights, I admitted, "I've been all over the place lately." My hands cupped the white mug that had a white cream heart drawn into the espresso. "This whole Sullivan thing is getting to me."

"I thought you and him were happy?" she asked, slightly confused. "Riyah, he's been your crush for as long as I've known. I mean, you were like in third grade and writing in your diary."

"That's the thing," I said, gulping down my sip. I gently placed the bottom of the mug on the ceramic plate. "I had so many expectations. I can't tell if this is reality or if this is less than that."

"Sweetie, you just started dating him?" she reminded. "And you're young---" 

"I know, so shouldn't it start off good at least, then go down-hill." I bit my bottom lip, but I caught her big hazel eyes staring at me as if I was a specimen under a microscope. Something felt off about the way she was looking at me, like I'd said something wrong, but when I thought over my words, I felt fine. "What?" I finally asked.

She lowered the coffee leisurely as the waitress came walking over, asking if we wanted anything, but my mom brushed her off politely. The conversations seemed to heighten now that we were quiet and I heard some distant conversations about the spring, past winter break, and the current news about politics or the economy. I was focused on my boy problems, and now apparently so was my mom. She looked troubled.

"Riyah." 

I breathed in relief, I was afraid she wasn't going to speak, but a new form of hesitation erupted inside of me.

She blinked, her eyes driving down to the table, staring at the details of wood beneath our elbows. "I knew when it was happening that it was a bad example, but you're not afraid of having a failed relationship like me, right?" Her bottom lip quivered "Not all relationships are like the one your parents had--"

"No, no--what?" I stammered now, my breathing hastening.

Maybe I should tell my mom the truth.

I sucked in a breath. "I'm not worried about Sullivan cheating on me... cause I already did that to him." It felt cold now that I said it like the lies all along have been a blanket, and now that I shed them off my body, I was awakened to the frigid truth of my words. I saw the pain in her eyes and soothed, "Mom, I'm telling Sullivan about it, but he already sort of knows--"