Yunho (ATEEZ)- Lost One

15 2 13
                                    

A little angst... sorry ;-;

     "Fuck..." I look back at the test and flex my fingers. I thought I aced this!? What the hell was all that time and work for? How am I supposed to explain this now? Oh god... As soon as class ended, I slammed the laptop shut and chucked my notebook across the room. Running downstairs, I noticed that both my parents weren't home yet. Though most of the area was under lockdown, few selected workers still had to attend their work and meetings. It was raining hard as I looked but that didn't stop me from pulling my hoodie strings and running all the way to a small park. Not caring whether I was soaking wet, I closed my eyes and rested my hands against my forehead.

     Holy shit, I'm done for. As if on command, I get a phone call from my mom. Quickly finding a place to temporarily stay dry under, I walk into an alley near the convenience store and tuck my phone into my hood.

     "Yes mom-?" My voice quivered as I looked around the area to see if anyone had heard me. Wait- I'm out in the rain near a convenience store when I'm supposed to be inside. I pull my mask over and lean against the wall.

     "Are you out of your mind?! What have you been doing in your damn room for you to get this low of a grade? I expected something better from you since you were getting so much help from all these videos and you staying up late. At this rate, you won't even get into a trashy college! No one is going to look at you! Be glad at least during this virus outbreak that colleges are being more lenient-" I bit my lip and looked down.

     "But I-"

     "Did you know that your younger cousin got admitted into one of the best private schools in the area? And her sister, she scored a perfect on the math section of the SAT and look at you. You're doing nothing to fix your own problems. Always losing focus, I don't even know what to do at this point." Sighing, you flexed your muscles as you tried to calm yourself down.

     "Constantly I work, I feed you, I clean the house, I work like a dog and this- this is what you give me!? Do you realize that your sisters are following you now? Every day, hanging out with friends, sitting on the computer all day, dancing, singing, doing nothing. Are you changing? No. Are you listening? No, you just do what you want to do and expect everything in return." I held the phone away from my face holding any sounds that I'm making. I bit my finger to suppress my heavy breathing and slowly walk out of the alley and turn home.

     "I need you to be better. Do you hear me?" With that, the call ended and I stopped walking. The slow falling tears mixed with the rain as I looked up towards the sky, not caring if my mask or my clothes getting wet at this point. I was already soaked so it didn't matter. I took off my hoodie as I walked peacefully in the rain. Having alone time made me reflect on myself and what I was doing. What am I doing wrong? Do I need to put in more effort? Why- I kept repeating the same questions over and over again while walking when I suddenly bumped into someone.

     You whispered a small 'sorry' before quickly pulling my mask and hoodie over. Quickly running back near the park and leaned on a tree, staring off at the swings and slides. You smiled to yourself as you thought about how fun it was when no one expected anything from you. You could be eating everything and anything, doing anything and people would think you cute but now?

     You were about to close your eyes when you heard someone call your name. You leaned forward to see my one and only best friend Yunho. He was wearing casual sweats and a hoodie and was dripping from head to toe. Springing up and grabbing him by the arm, you pulled him under some roofing.

     "Y/n, what are you doing out here? It's like 10 pm? You should be at home." Yunho pointed outside and frowned. "It's also raining." You rolled your eyes pointing at him.

     "And what are you doing here? You're going to get sick!" You tried looking around for an object to cover him with when Yunho looked down.

     "I was going to get something near the convenient store when I saw you in the alley..." Your heartbeat stopped for a second but you controlled your facial expressions and ignored the remark.

     "You had this dark aura around that... just wasn't you, and you didn't move for a good bit before you ran off here." Staring at Yunho, your breath hitched before you continued.

     "Did you- hear anything..." Your voice trailed off before cracking at the end. You hopped that Yunho didn't hear it but he knew better than you. Of course, he did. He knew everything about you even if he didn't say anything. He noticed how you always tried to make people laugh, how your mind seemed to flow from one direction to the other, how you always doubted yourself even if people praised you, how you always tried your best even knowing what the outcome would be. But you still took those chances. And that's what he liked about you. You were always direct and blunt when dealing with tough situations, and Yunho knew, that the smile you wore never stayed that way for long.

     He took your deafening silence as confirmation that something bad had happened and didn't push the subject. Grabbing your hands, he slowly pulled you into the convenience store nearby and bought an umbrella before dragging you along. The rain only pelted harder, mixing the soft pellets with the sound of your sniffling. You didn't realize that Yunho had stoped when your face crashed into his back earning a groan from you. Peaking out from behind him, you noticed the same park you had passed earlier.

     "What are we doing here?" You peaked out from the giant teddy bear and looked around. The place looked so empty and peaceful beside the violent rain coming from above. The swings stood still under the downpour and the slide look as inviting as ever. You took off your mask and pulled down your hood while looking up, your fresh tears mixing with the rain. The cool touch of the metal bars felt good against your flushed skin as you climbed up to the top of the structure.

     "Y/N..." Yunho sat next to you and laid his arm around you; the umbrella was forgotten on the ground.

     "Maybe when I grow up, I could leave this place. Somewhere far maybe..."

     "Would you leave me?"

     "You'd be the first person I'd run away with, mark my words."

     "Good because I don't think you'd get rid of me."

    "Would you miss..."

    "I don't know. I know she does it for my own good. But I just feel so-"

     "Lost."

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