My Boys (boyxboy, girlxboy)

Twenty-Two

Because I wrote this when I was trying to be productive and I guess you all deserve whatever I had, it's not even a finished chapter but maybe it'll help those who want to continue... It's my parting gift I guess lol and it's not even proof read

Sammy's POV
I looked into Riley's eyes and saw something I didn't expect, something between fear and determination. I couldn't tell what he was planning but I knew I wouldn't like it so I didn't press him. I would find out when I needed to I guess but I knew whatever it was he wouldn't hurt me. He would never intentionally hurt me, sure we had our rough times but I had said those nasty things out of hatred from what Derek did.

I could never see a time before Riley now, he was completely consuming me and becoming an anchor in my world. I needed him and without him I feared for my sanity.

He knew just when to speak so that my head would stop spinning, and just how to reel me in if it ever got too far. No one had ever shown me as much kindness and compassion.

I fear that I'm making life difficult for him, that deciding to help me has brought him the pain that's made those bags under his eyes. He rarely sees Amy anymore and when he did last, they fought so loud I could hear it through the walls. Afterwards he would always sneak into my bed and squeeze me so tight I have to fight to keep my breathing even knowing sometimes he needed comfort more than I did...but would never ask.

With the Derek situation now having blown up and all of the guys supporting me I know that me staying with him was a massive mistake. Sometimes I don't know what these people see in me and I wish I could see it in myself. I am starting to realise that I don't deserve the pain that my parents have caused me or the scars that Derek has left. I'm weak, but I don't always feel like it when Riley is with me, together with him, I'm a full person.

We make our way downstairs where Josh and Adam, now fully clothed, are hugging on the couch and Angel and Cassie are chatting casually by the stove.

I inch my way onto the couch and between the two lovebirds to embrace them both. They each wrap and arm around me and give me a right squeeze.

"You guys are really brave"

Josh laughs against my neck and Adam squeezes tighter. "Brave or stupid, we haven't decided yet"

"You've got my back though right Sammy?" Adam asks with a smile

"Of course" I beam back, they're my friends, my first real friends, I will always have their backs.

"I'll need it against Mick and the guys."

I rolled my eyes "They can't hurt you I won't let them"

"Oh yeah you're going to stop them?" Adam teases

"Puft no, but I promise to get Josh right away and probably Riley" I laughed running and jumping onto his back

Riley and the rest the gang were laughing and looking at me weird.

"What's gotten you so confident?" Cassie laughs pointing to the food she's laid out on the food on the table

"I don't know, something just feels good about today" I shrug hoping off Adam and making my way to the table where I take a seat beside riley of course.

We all wait until Cassie, with much persuasion, also takes a seat before Josh picks up his orange juice and holds in it the air.

"A toast...." He exclaims and glares my way when I let a laugh slip past my lips.

"...to family, and friends who are like family. To my boyfriend because God knows you should have left me a long time ago, you should have had me fully from the beginning. I'm going to try my hardest to make up for making you a secret for this long, even if it takes me the rest of my life. Adam, baby, I love you" He dips his head and places a gentle and emotion filled kiss on Adams cheek.

I can't help but beam back at the two, Cassie and Riley mirroring me. When I glance over at Angel he's frowning and shaking his head slightly looking away from all of us. It wasn't that obvious, I thought I was the only one that noticed until I saw Cassie chewing on her lip and taking side glances his way too.

Something weird was happening with these two, but I know they're probably sorting it out on there own. There's not much I can do anyway, I can barely sort out my own life not to mind someone else's.

My phone buzzes signalling it's time for school. Suddenly the previous cheery mood falters as reality hits that Josh and Adam must now face the music. Riley being the ever strong rock of the group grips his friends shoulder and begins hauling him towards the door.

"Let's get this show on the road superstars, time to preform for your audience" he laughs and tugs a reluctant Josh and Adam towards the truck.

I give Cassie a parting hug and kiss before darting out the door following the others. I don't know wether I want to be in the front line of all the attention they will get today but I'd rather that than spending time away from Riley, who I know will be glued to his friends side all day.

I will do my best to do the same for Adam of course. I wasn't exactly as intimidating as Riley, not by a long shot, but I wanted people to know that I had Adams back. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be the friend to someone that I always wished for myself.

The drive is eerily quite, with each mile we come closer to the school you can hear the pace of Adams breath pick up. I can't seem to think of anything to make it better so I just keep quiet, that's the best option sometimes. It seems to be everyone's option today, as no one speaks to each other. As awkward as the whole experience is it feels great to be able to all go to school as a group for once, to be finally able to be seen together. Josh and Adam might not know it now but maybe in a few days when things calm down they'll be glad they did it.

I remember, through all the shame and fear I felt when my parents kicked me out, feeling relieved, relieved they knew and o didn't have to keep if a secret anymore. Secrets can eat you alive, I only fully realised that again when I became Derek's. It's like josh said...he was sorry for making Adam his secret. I won't allow myself to be someone's secret anymore

The thought creates a funny feeling in my stomach, something between dread and panic.